I'm fed up with new age hoo-haw that masquerades as advice on how to live life. The latest inanity comes from the estimable Oprah.com, posted on CNN, titled "The 'Dear John' talk and other dreaded conversations" I'll let you read it for yourself.
This is why our society and the relationships we form are sick, twisted and dysfunctional. Instead of addressing the issues of why the difficult conversation has to take place - or looking at the roots of the issues - the article teaches us how to be slick, silver tongued and ultimately and deeply selfish and self centered about how to have difficult conversations - which if we were conscious and in integrity with the values that make great relationships the conversation wouldn't have to take place at all or would be extremely different in tone or delivery.
You can say anything with love - true love - in your heart. And taking Donald Trump or Anne Robinson as role models, mentors or advisers is so far from what we need as human beings that it makes me want to vomit.
The spiritual energy embodied in the concepts touted in this article are not based in the ideals of accountability required in our day to heal relationships or deal with difficult situations. But hey, that's what we want from Oprah and the like...right? Someone to tell us what to do, how to think, how to be in the world...and how to victimize others in the name of manners or propriety, or selfishly getting what we want. Same goes for idiot boy Dr. Phil and all the psycho-babbling executive coaches that rely on sycophantic relationships to make money.
What has happened to the deep and sacred "knowing" of how to be a human being? Compassion, love, charity are sacrificed on the altar of the "Art of Letting Them Down Easy".
Letting someone down used to mean that we failed to keep a commitment, now it's an art form. That is so typical of a world in love with it's own image and the sound of it's own voice.
Our "word" means nothing because it is too easy to weasel out of doing what we promised we would do. Our society has perfected the fine art of letting ourselves and others off the hook. No wonder the divorce rate sits at 60%. This is what happens when unconscious, immature, unaccountable people get married. And men...men aren't afraid of commitment as much as they simply don't know how to make one to themselves or to what they believe - let alone making a commitment to someone else.
The impetus or inducement to commit is highly motivated by selfishness - what will this (relationship) do for me? Perhaps if we were truly thinking of other people we wouldn't put ourselves in the situation where those hard or difficult conversations would be necessary. My truth is this - difficult conversations take place after one or both of the parties have engaged in a dishonest, masked relationship...and ignored or lived with the problems without addressing them along the way. That sucks. Believe me.
If you must have the dear john conversation and create and experience all the drama in turn expending massive amounts of emotional and spiritual energy then you deserve what you get. At some level you've chosen an unconscious life...mostly because of not paying attention.
ranting
D_
