He Was Old When the War Began...

He was old when the war began

Older still when it ended

Now he greets each new day in the same way. In the same ritual - honoring the heroes of the old wars and the great leaders who served to make the world a better place.

He pauses in Lincoln’s temple to say a prayer for his brothers. They, like himself, returned from the war with the essence of each battle deep inside their souls. They had survived but the old man never thought them to be the lucky ones.

He walks by the water – the reflections in the pool are like a view into another world.

…maybe a world where it was different

…where men didn’t fight and kill each other

…where men didn’t have to fight

But that was not this world. Still, he was not bitter, nor angry. And he would do it all again - for duty, for honor and for his brothers.

The Old Man made promises. Long ago promises – of certain things to be done for those who called him father... a title he cherished... as he cherished his calling to serve and bless. And in the end they called upon him to remember them. And finish their unfinished duties.

A note to deliver, photos for a son or daughter, a journal, a father’s last embrace to a baby he would never see. A wife’s letters tied in a red ribbon...now returned home. The symbols of war- medals and citations- for fathers who missed their sons…but had no words to speak their grief.

Some requests were strange. All were difficult - a wrong to make right, an amends to offer, a debt to repay. All brought peace – one task at a time.

Years passed. The Old Man did his duty…and came day by day to the wall. He came early in the morning quiet so he could hear their voices. He heard the echoes of their laughter; their shouts of warning and command. He heard them cry out in pain for themselves and weep for their fallen brothers.

Sometimes he saw their faces – in the soft black reflections of the polished granite. And when it rained it was the tears of 50,000 warriors weeping for the world.

To be continued…

Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 7: The Transformation of Death

My guest Blogger this week is Mike Owen. Mike is my mentor, dear friend and example of the kind of man I strive to be. We have "grown-up" together through many dangerous adventures. He wrote to me earlier this week - I've edited his missive a little and find the philosophy of Paul Tillich to be intriguing.

On first approach it may seem that Tillich's views of God are atheistic (see the final lines of Mike's post) - on deeper consideration - it seems to me that Tillich is simply challenging the pablum of modern religious sophists who eschew truth in favor of universal acceptance. The free gift of immortality notwithstanding.

What stands out to me in Mike's entry is this phrase from Paul Tillich - whose writings Mike is currently reading in pursuit of his degree.

“The dead are not allowed to show that they are dead; they are transformed into a mask of the living.” Paul Tillich

This idea has implications for REQUIEM. Indeed, how do we keep the dead from showing they are dead? By keeping their memory alive? By remembering them? And how does a man - like the Old Man -wear the mask of the dead? I don't know the answers. But I think the Old Man does.

Mike Owen writes:

…the B&W look of your latest... the grain and sharpness reminds me of the look from a Leica M lens. These are such great lenses they withstand most of the harsh flare that will ruin a photo when pointing into the sun.

Have you read any Tillich (Paul Tillich) yet: The Courage To Be? There are actually two dynamic tensions according to Tillich: fate at tension with death; guilt and condemnation at tension with meaninglessness. (Some of Tillich’s) passage(s) came to mind as I looked at your latest blog:

(These) are (the) two ontological questions facing humans; the courage to be an individual and the courage to be as a part of a collective. The bipolar ‘poles’ of each of these questions are: fate and death. Fate talks about my potential and whether or how I’m doing right now, in my life to
accomplish my task. Death is the other half of this anxiety. As death marks the end of time in this plane in which I’m supposed to find and complete my mission.

According to Tillich, Americans have a unique form of this human struggle. He writes speaking of the American ideas of production and manifest destiny as the way we participate in the collective: (He wrote this in the 1950’s)

“The anxiety conquered in the courage to be as a part is considerable, because the threat of being excluded from such a participation by unemployment or the loss of an economic basis is
what, above all, fate means today.”

“Only in the light of this situation can the tremendous impact of the great crisis of the 1930’s on the American people (Tillich was from Germany), and the frequent loss of the courage to be in it, be understood.

"The anxiety about death is met in two ways. The reality of death is excluded from daily life to the highest possible degree. The dead are not allowed to show that they are dead; they are transformed into a mask of the living. The other and more important way of dealing with death is the belief in a continuation of life after death, called
immortality of the soul. This is not Christian and hardly a Platonic doctrine. Christianity speaks of resurrection and eternal life - Platonism of a participation of the soul in the trans-temporal sphere of essences. But the modern idea of immortality means a continuous participation in the productive process- “time world without end.”

“It is not the eternal rest of the individual in God but his unlimited contribution to the dynamics of the universe that gives him the courage to face death. In this kind of hope God is almost unnecessary. He may be considered as the guarantor of immortality, but if not, the belief in immortality is not shaken. For the courage to be as a part of the productive process, immortality is decisive and not God, except that God is understood as the productive process itself as with some theologians.”

REQUIEM Look Develpment: Old Man WIP -

Here's the latest WIP for the Old Man. I revised his eyes, added the beginnings of his facial hair, gave him some pins and such for his identification as a Vietnam Vet and also gave him a head under his hat. The previous version looked a little odd and I rec'd feedback as such. I've also rec'd some very interesting comments from 2 sources that I will post in my blog for this week. More on that in the post.

There is something about this image that is growing in my heart. I react with a feeling of a high and lonely wind blowing through the holes in my heart. That and a growing sense of honor and duty.

D_

More REQUIEM Look Development

Here's another look dev piece. I comped a render of the Old Man WIP model into the BG Matte for SC_09.

D_

Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 6: What If...

I've been working on the look of REQUIEM - this is the vector. What if the old man's world has become increasingly like an old faded photograph? What if his memories of Vietnam are all that holds color for him in his life? Color and look are the visual embodiment of his inner thoughts. Like the faded photos - at the bottom of his trunk. The trunk that holds the letters from his fallen friends and comrades. The letters containing their last wishes.

What if...

D_

OLD MAN WIP Model

Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 5: Nothing Can Suck

I have started creating the models for the exterior of the Lincoln Memorial, the Lincoln statue and the Old Man.

I enjoy modeling - my process is slow and because I am a perfectionist I rework the mesh quite a bit from session to session. Sometimes to the point of scrapping something and starting from scratch. It's easier than continuing down the rabbit hole.

I use two very basic techniques "box" and "patch". I don't have a preference. Although I find patch modeling to be great for cars and complex surfaces, box modeling is also fun and rewarding. As I started my homework tonight, Larry Schultz (a.k.a Spline God) came over to see what I was working on.

Larry and I work together on "afterworld" and he is an extraordinary CG artist using Lightwave . His website is: http://www.splinegod.com

He also happens to be one of the best and fastest modelers I've met...so I was a little shy about showing him my work for REQUIEM. I mentioned that I enjoy modeling but don't care about being an amazing modeler -however I don't want my models to suck. Which sparked a "Nothing Can Suck" conversation.

Basically what this means for me is this: My focus is story telling and I don't want the story to suffer in it's telling because of a poorly executed visual element. And because of time constraints there is not always time to create everything at the most amazing level. But there is a quality bar below which I won't allow my work to go. That's the "Nothing Can Suck" bar (NCS).

Every project I have worked on in my career ends up with a handful of defining visual elements. Might be lighting or visual effects, or animation, color palette or production design. Those elements rise above the NCS bar and are the elements that get a disproportionate amount of time and attention. They are the "stars". Everything else must be good (can't suck) and are, essentially there to support the stars- the ultimate star being the story.

Of course, the cool thing is, because of progress and experience, the NCS bar gets higher all the time. Someday I might even make something that is really good. Beyond my current limitations.
I certainly hope so. Why else do we keep creating - if not for the journey to grow in talent and vision realized?

That's all for this week. I'll post some WIP pictures of my models.

D_

Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 4: The Indispensable Leader

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Here's the latest progress on "4 Seasons". The Lincoln Memorial is complete and now I'm working on the VVM Wall and starting the addition of the army of the Civil War.

I've been thinking about why I included the Lincoln Memorial in REQUIEM and featured it in this painting. The inscription above Lincoln's statue inside the memorial is:

In this Temple
As in the Hearts of the People
For Whom He Saved the Union
The Memory of Abraham Lincoln
Is Enshrined Forever

Although this is a temple to the memory of one man - it is the shrine to the ideals for which he lived and died - it is also a temple to the ideals of freedom, equality and right action in the face of extreme opposition. He was, to paraphrase James Thomas Flexner, another "Indispensable Man". As was George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and others in their day. Our investigative reporter culture looks back through time - and attempts to dethrone these heroes of past days. This is an twisted "king-killer" mentality that robs the good and feeds the negative and demeaning energy in our world.

Our leaders are lampooned and denigrated, in part, because we will not be lead by indispensable men or women as we were in the past. Oh! We say we want them and we certainly need both men and women of the indispensable variety - but our sibling society can't abide true and powerful masculine and feminine archetypes. And while we shouldn't abide the tyranny of evil leadership we have no evidence of cultural value that we can point to that shows that we truly value indispensable leaders. Indeed the opposite is true - we distrust men and women of faith and character. We consume super sized portions of rudeness and crude language and boorish behavior - we strain at gnats and swallow camels. And in many cases we have been betrayed by those who violate sacred oaths to protect and serve. It's difficult to mend the broken wheel of trust.

Indeed current leadership behavior and politics are fine fodder for the new political leaders rising in the LA Confidential-ized world. Look at LA's mayor for example. Bereft of leadership and basic morality - and unwilling or incapable of common shame that would bring fidelity and integrity back to his life. Poor man. Poor man's children. Poor LA.

Have we, in the name of fear of dictators and tyrants, ceased to be a world capable of producing leaders like Lincoln? Have we lost the desire to be led by great men and women? Certainly we have lost the inclination to have them lead us. Oh! But just wait until they are needed. Then indeed we will raise our wailing voices and gnash our teeth, crying out to be saved.

I believe that society, culture and the localized bad weather of the times we live in, cannot stay the rise of the indispensable leader - leaders rise because of great cosmic necessity in spite of the immature adult children that will whine and complain about the hard things that must be done. They rise so that goodness can thrive. They rise in spite of the "King Killers" in our world - those that snipe, demean, and diminish the heroic and royal, even godly, in all of us.

And where are the temples and memorials of our modern day. They are all around us in the shadows and the veneer of things that appear worthy of devotion. Shiny and good smelling...but ultimately white washed tombs full of death and corruption. Shopping Malls and courthouses where our children, friends and neighbors worship at the altar of strange gods named Nordstrom and Dissolution of Marriage. Vomitoriums of the engorged consumer.

I look to Lincoln...yes he was a mere mortal man...I look to him and remember and try to honor his memory in the best way I can - through my meager gifts as an artist.

And this is why I remember Lincoln. And live in faith that when indispensable men or women are needed they will rise in the time required to save the union.

Have to go now - I need to go shopping at Best Buy.

D_