Two classes, lots of writing, production on REQUIEM to continue, finishing afterworld, getting my website up and running, starting Gemini, production design on Ghostkiller, Donovan's Window, Jona...
gaaaaccck.
Bright spots: Home, wife and family. Michael Greene back as one of the course facilitators.
Let the madness begin.
D_
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Final "4 Seasons" images
Here are the finished versions of the "4 Seasons" production illustration. Finished - at least for now.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Lincoln Statue WIP
I've been working on the statue of Abraham Lincoln which sits inside the Lincoln Memorial - a very challenging (for me and my meager modeling skills) element for REQUIEM. I just don't model often enough to achieve the speed or the quality I want. He kind of looks like Sean Penn.
That's all for this Quarter.
D_
Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 11
This is my second to last post for the quarter...I'll put some images up for the Lincoln Memorial Statue I've been working on later this week or next. It has been a rewarding and challenging 11 weeks. I've done some things artistically that I am happy with.
I want to be alive as an artist. Every kind of artistic endeavor intrigues me. I was looking at the "skins" that artists have made for winamp. I want to make some. I look at the cool abstract BG's that people make and post on the web- I want to do that too. I want to write stories, make films, paint draw, create, build, demolish and build again. It is an addictive, fulfilling and highly exhilarating pursuit.
However, more important than being alive in that space - I want to be alive as a husband, father and friend. My life as an artist is wonderful because of my wife, family and friends. The smile of a child, a hug from my daughters, a date with my wife, shared moments with dear friends - give reason and purpose to the pursuit of a life dedicated to creation.
Being a professional artist, working in digital art and in entertainment comes with a cost. My family and I have sacrificed our time together so that I could work in this field and now, additionally, in pursuit of an MFA. It means that I have basically been a weekend or Sunday dad for many years. I am no longer willing to live this way - and obtaining an MFA is part of the puzzle to move to the next phase of my life as a husband, father and friend.
Speaking of a date with my wife...it's Saturday afternoon and I am heading home to do just that.
Be well...
See you next quarter.
D_
I want to be alive as an artist. Every kind of artistic endeavor intrigues me. I was looking at the "skins" that artists have made for winamp. I want to make some. I look at the cool abstract BG's that people make and post on the web- I want to do that too. I want to write stories, make films, paint draw, create, build, demolish and build again. It is an addictive, fulfilling and highly exhilarating pursuit.
However, more important than being alive in that space - I want to be alive as a husband, father and friend. My life as an artist is wonderful because of my wife, family and friends. The smile of a child, a hug from my daughters, a date with my wife, shared moments with dear friends - give reason and purpose to the pursuit of a life dedicated to creation.
Being a professional artist, working in digital art and in entertainment comes with a cost. My family and I have sacrificed our time together so that I could work in this field and now, additionally, in pursuit of an MFA. It means that I have basically been a weekend or Sunday dad for many years. I am no longer willing to live this way - and obtaining an MFA is part of the puzzle to move to the next phase of my life as a husband, father and friend.
Speaking of a date with my wife...it's Saturday afternoon and I am heading home to do just that.
Be well...
See you next quarter.
D_
Friday, September 14, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 10: The END is near
The end is near. For this quarter and for the online program at AI/MIU which, we heard this week, is ending. I feel very fortunate and grateful to have been a part of this program. The program will continue until the current students have graduated. For me that will be next June at the end of the 11th Quarter. That's all for this week. I am feeling sad about the program and weary of this quarter. Here's my final BG for Sc_09 made into a poster for REQUIEM.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Sick of the BS: OPRAH.com - How to deliver Bad News.
I'm fed up with new age hoo-haw that masquerades as advice on how to live life. The latest inanity comes from the estimable Oprah.com, posted on CNN, titled "The 'Dear John' talk and other dreaded conversations" I'll let you read it for yourself.
This is why our society and the relationships we form are sick, twisted and dysfunctional. Instead of addressing the issues of why the difficult conversation has to take place - or looking at the roots of the issues - the article teaches us how to be slick, silver tongued and ultimately and deeply selfish and self centered about how to have difficult conversations - which if we were conscious and in integrity with the values that make great relationships the conversation wouldn't have to take place at all or would be extremely different in tone or delivery.
You can say anything with love - true love - in your heart. And taking Donald Trump or Anne Robinson as role models, mentors or advisers is so far from what we need as human beings that it makes me want to vomit.
The spiritual energy embodied in the concepts touted in this article are not based in the ideals of accountability required in our day to heal relationships or deal with difficult situations. But hey, that's what we want from Oprah and the like...right? Someone to tell us what to do, how to think, how to be in the world...and how to victimize others in the name of manners or propriety, or selfishly getting what we want. Same goes for idiot boy Dr. Phil and all the psycho-babbling executive coaches that rely on sycophantic relationships to make money.
What has happened to the deep and sacred "knowing" of how to be a human being? Compassion, love, charity are sacrificed on the altar of the "Art of Letting Them Down Easy".
Letting someone down used to mean that we failed to keep a commitment, now it's an art form. That is so typical of a world in love with it's own image and the sound of it's own voice.
Our "word" means nothing because it is too easy to weasel out of doing what we promised we would do. Our society has perfected the fine art of letting ourselves and others off the hook. No wonder the divorce rate sits at 60%. This is what happens when unconscious, immature, unaccountable people get married. And men...men aren't afraid of commitment as much as they simply don't know how to make one to themselves or to what they believe - let alone making a commitment to someone else.
The impetus or inducement to commit is highly motivated by selfishness - what will this (relationship) do for me? Perhaps if we were truly thinking of other people we wouldn't put ourselves in the situation where those hard or difficult conversations would be necessary. My truth is this - difficult conversations take place after one or both of the parties have engaged in a dishonest, masked relationship...and ignored or lived with the problems without addressing them along the way. That sucks. Believe me.
If you must have the dear john conversation and create and experience all the drama in turn expending massive amounts of emotional and spiritual energy then you deserve what you get. At some level you've chosen an unconscious life...mostly because of not paying attention.
ranting
D_
This is why our society and the relationships we form are sick, twisted and dysfunctional. Instead of addressing the issues of why the difficult conversation has to take place - or looking at the roots of the issues - the article teaches us how to be slick, silver tongued and ultimately and deeply selfish and self centered about how to have difficult conversations - which if we were conscious and in integrity with the values that make great relationships the conversation wouldn't have to take place at all or would be extremely different in tone or delivery.
You can say anything with love - true love - in your heart. And taking Donald Trump or Anne Robinson as role models, mentors or advisers is so far from what we need as human beings that it makes me want to vomit.
The spiritual energy embodied in the concepts touted in this article are not based in the ideals of accountability required in our day to heal relationships or deal with difficult situations. But hey, that's what we want from Oprah and the like...right? Someone to tell us what to do, how to think, how to be in the world...and how to victimize others in the name of manners or propriety, or selfishly getting what we want. Same goes for idiot boy Dr. Phil and all the psycho-babbling executive coaches that rely on sycophantic relationships to make money.
What has happened to the deep and sacred "knowing" of how to be a human being? Compassion, love, charity are sacrificed on the altar of the "Art of Letting Them Down Easy".
Letting someone down used to mean that we failed to keep a commitment, now it's an art form. That is so typical of a world in love with it's own image and the sound of it's own voice.
Our "word" means nothing because it is too easy to weasel out of doing what we promised we would do. Our society has perfected the fine art of letting ourselves and others off the hook. No wonder the divorce rate sits at 60%. This is what happens when unconscious, immature, unaccountable people get married. And men...men aren't afraid of commitment as much as they simply don't know how to make one to themselves or to what they believe - let alone making a commitment to someone else.
The impetus or inducement to commit is highly motivated by selfishness - what will this (relationship) do for me? Perhaps if we were truly thinking of other people we wouldn't put ourselves in the situation where those hard or difficult conversations would be necessary. My truth is this - difficult conversations take place after one or both of the parties have engaged in a dishonest, masked relationship...and ignored or lived with the problems without addressing them along the way. That sucks. Believe me.
If you must have the dear john conversation and create and experience all the drama in turn expending massive amounts of emotional and spiritual energy then you deserve what you get. At some level you've chosen an unconscious life...mostly because of not paying attention.
ranting
D_
Monday, September 3, 2007
Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 9: Online MFA: Roles in Learning
I've been thinking about my experience in the past 2 years of online MFA. Comparing it to an on the ground (OTG) program would not necessarily be useful as my last student OTG experience was almost 30 years ago - and my last OTG teaching experience was 13 years ago at Cal Sate Long Beach.
Many things have changed in that time - what hasn't changed is human nature. My experience with the online process has revealed more about that nature - on the student side and on the facilitator side. I've ranted a bit in the past about both sides.
Each individual brings their strengths and weaknesses to the online classroom. In the process of learning choices are presented. Choices that will determine how efficacious the learning and development process is for both student and facilitator. An individuals ability to recognize and make the choices that will bring them to a desirable outcome is related to where they are on a continuum of maturity, experience, wisdom, technical and artistic ability. Knowledge of one's place on this continuum is critical to learning. This knowledge puts the student and facilitator into the context of the core purpose of the individual class specifically and the intent of the degree in general.
The learning experience, in my view, then becomes an effort to move beyond where one currently sits on that continuum. This is necessary to be "alive" as an artist, both as a student and as a facilitator. The two major factors in an effective outcome are: 1- a clear understanding of where we are in our own continuum; and 2- a well defined role that we choose to play in the process of learning.
1- Where we are in the continuum.
All of us are prone to self deception. On the extreme gold side we think our work is grand, perfect, without flaw. On the shadow side we are too easily and falsely humbled - dropping into self deprecation - not willing to stand our ground or own our brilliance. Chasing one or both of those polar energies leads to insanity by ignorance and capitulation and results in sterility and death as an artist.
It is very difficult to self critique in a realistic and accurate way without falling into false humility on one side or paralyzing analysis on the other. The middle road of accurate data and clear critique is not normally possible from one's own limited point of view. This is why we give each other the gift of our critical observation.
When we embark on the pursuit of an advanced degree, we are in essence agreeing that we want to move to a point further on our continuum. We acknowledge that we are willing to submit to a process of examination and critique by facilitators and fellow students so that learning and progression can take place. Without clear understanding of where one sits on the continuum and where one needs to go to progress there is no possibility of progression. A rehash or repetition of the things one already is proficient in is not worthy of the process or the degree. Real change and progression is only possible when my mind is as this Buddhist saying suggests: Zen Mind, Beginners Mind.
2- A Well Defined Role
...that we choose to play in the process. The roles we play are chosen by us. We may not realize that we choose to play the roles we play, but we do. It is critical that we are conscious in our choices.
Facilitators can choose one or more of the roles of producer, technical director or art director. They cannot choose the role belonging solely to the student - that of artist and creator.
Students can also in turn choose to lead in their area of power - be that a technical or artistic skill, art direction and/or technical direction. They cannot choose the role reserved for the facilitator - Producer. Thus "good fences" make "good neighbors". Well defined boundaries eliminate confusion, conflict and controversy.
Students cannot and must not be allowed to be their own producers. A student as a producer negates the facilitators ability to hold the student accountable to their own vision and to guide them to higher achievement. This doesn't mean that the student is not accountable to production process or producible projects. It means that the inmates, regardless of who they are, cannot run the asylum. The facilitator as producer protects and affirms the quality and standards required by the school necessary to award a degree that has real meaning and worth.
It is critical that the facilitators be skilled as producers and possess a high level of acknowledged expertise in their craft. It is equally critical that students be willing to be "produced" by a facilitator in order to grow beyond their own self deception and limitations. Both roles exist and operate in the same functional model that works in the real world of production.
When students or facilitators either don't know where they are on the continuum of artistic development and/or fail to function in the critical roles required the process breaks down and the desired outcome is not achieved.
What Stands in Our Way:
Ego, the inability to take critique, unwillingness to be "produced", laziness...any and all shadowy sideways behavior are manifestations of a core self-truth. These core beliefs may be that: one is smarter than all the rest of the students or facilitators - that one "knows better" - is more talented, more experienced - a "who the hell do they think they are - telling me what to do" attitude. That core belief may exhibit itself as a choice to hide, repress or deny one's weakness or lack of knowledge in order to appear to know more than one does. This problem is rampant in masters programs that cater to experienced professionals where we all want acknowledgment and credit for what we have already accomplished. However, when it comes to learning and progression - there is no future in the past.
The core belief one holds, consciously or unconsciously, may manifest itself in any number of malfunctions. And the end result is always that the learner fails to learn...because at some level the learner chooses not to learn.
The antidote for this disease is a clear, honest assessment and acknowledgment of ones' strengths and weakness - magnified by willingness to submit to and trust the process. This, along with a free will choice to play the role necessary to progress along the path, yields great learning. Not the facilitators path, nor the schools...but ones own path to mastery...of ones self and ones own artistic vision.
D_
Many things have changed in that time - what hasn't changed is human nature. My experience with the online process has revealed more about that nature - on the student side and on the facilitator side. I've ranted a bit in the past about both sides.
Each individual brings their strengths and weaknesses to the online classroom. In the process of learning choices are presented. Choices that will determine how efficacious the learning and development process is for both student and facilitator. An individuals ability to recognize and make the choices that will bring them to a desirable outcome is related to where they are on a continuum of maturity, experience, wisdom, technical and artistic ability. Knowledge of one's place on this continuum is critical to learning. This knowledge puts the student and facilitator into the context of the core purpose of the individual class specifically and the intent of the degree in general.
The learning experience, in my view, then becomes an effort to move beyond where one currently sits on that continuum. This is necessary to be "alive" as an artist, both as a student and as a facilitator. The two major factors in an effective outcome are: 1- a clear understanding of where we are in our own continuum; and 2- a well defined role that we choose to play in the process of learning.
1- Where we are in the continuum.
All of us are prone to self deception. On the extreme gold side we think our work is grand, perfect, without flaw. On the shadow side we are too easily and falsely humbled - dropping into self deprecation - not willing to stand our ground or own our brilliance. Chasing one or both of those polar energies leads to insanity by ignorance and capitulation and results in sterility and death as an artist.
It is very difficult to self critique in a realistic and accurate way without falling into false humility on one side or paralyzing analysis on the other. The middle road of accurate data and clear critique is not normally possible from one's own limited point of view. This is why we give each other the gift of our critical observation.
When we embark on the pursuit of an advanced degree, we are in essence agreeing that we want to move to a point further on our continuum. We acknowledge that we are willing to submit to a process of examination and critique by facilitators and fellow students so that learning and progression can take place. Without clear understanding of where one sits on the continuum and where one needs to go to progress there is no possibility of progression. A rehash or repetition of the things one already is proficient in is not worthy of the process or the degree. Real change and progression is only possible when my mind is as this Buddhist saying suggests: Zen Mind, Beginners Mind.
2- A Well Defined Role
...that we choose to play in the process. The roles we play are chosen by us. We may not realize that we choose to play the roles we play, but we do. It is critical that we are conscious in our choices.
Facilitators can choose one or more of the roles of producer, technical director or art director. They cannot choose the role belonging solely to the student - that of artist and creator.
Students can also in turn choose to lead in their area of power - be that a technical or artistic skill, art direction and/or technical direction. They cannot choose the role reserved for the facilitator - Producer. Thus "good fences" make "good neighbors". Well defined boundaries eliminate confusion, conflict and controversy.
Students cannot and must not be allowed to be their own producers. A student as a producer negates the facilitators ability to hold the student accountable to their own vision and to guide them to higher achievement. This doesn't mean that the student is not accountable to production process or producible projects. It means that the inmates, regardless of who they are, cannot run the asylum. The facilitator as producer protects and affirms the quality and standards required by the school necessary to award a degree that has real meaning and worth.
It is critical that the facilitators be skilled as producers and possess a high level of acknowledged expertise in their craft. It is equally critical that students be willing to be "produced" by a facilitator in order to grow beyond their own self deception and limitations. Both roles exist and operate in the same functional model that works in the real world of production.
When students or facilitators either don't know where they are on the continuum of artistic development and/or fail to function in the critical roles required the process breaks down and the desired outcome is not achieved.
What Stands in Our Way:
Ego, the inability to take critique, unwillingness to be "produced", laziness...any and all shadowy sideways behavior are manifestations of a core self-truth. These core beliefs may be that: one is smarter than all the rest of the students or facilitators - that one "knows better" - is more talented, more experienced - a "who the hell do they think they are - telling me what to do" attitude. That core belief may exhibit itself as a choice to hide, repress or deny one's weakness or lack of knowledge in order to appear to know more than one does. This problem is rampant in masters programs that cater to experienced professionals where we all want acknowledgment and credit for what we have already accomplished. However, when it comes to learning and progression - there is no future in the past.
The core belief one holds, consciously or unconsciously, may manifest itself in any number of malfunctions. And the end result is always that the learner fails to learn...because at some level the learner chooses not to learn.
The antidote for this disease is a clear, honest assessment and acknowledgment of ones' strengths and weakness - magnified by willingness to submit to and trust the process. This, along with a free will choice to play the role necessary to progress along the path, yields great learning. Not the facilitators path, nor the schools...but ones own path to mastery...of ones self and ones own artistic vision.
D_
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 8: VisDev Progress
Work this week includes a revision of the BG matte for SC_09 and the right side of the 4 Seasons production painting is complete. I've posted a partial detail image.
I didn't like the way the BG Matte was looking so I completely revised the POV and BG elements. The 4 Seasons image is challenging...but I am learning so much as I go. The MG soldiers are in progress...not liking them yet.
That's all for this week except to say that this is the end of Week 8. 3 More weeks until this quarter is complete and another milestone is passed. I am looking forward to being done next year...but of course there is much to do before that time. I find it helpful to take one day at a time. Helps me focus on here, now and the task directly before me.
D_