This quarter is over. I am very happy that it is. My written thesis has progressed with the feedback and support of my writing instructor, Janet Duncan. 11 weeks ago I started with an introduction and a rough TOC. I've completed and polished 75% of the main sections and feel pretty good about where I am now and where I'm headed with the ideas and their expression.
My other class, "How To Not Suck as a Teacher" (Teaching Methodologies) was useful for one thing - creating a course PAK. The rest was a waste of time. It's clear that they didn't have an instructor to facilitate the course and sad that it fell to Michael Greene to be the babysitter. I'm glad he was there and he is one of my favorite teachers but we didn't get the benefit of all that Michael has to offer.
I come away with a deeper respect for the hard work, attention to detail, and the volume of elements that have to be created to have a complete syllabus and package for teaching a course. It's not trivial.
There are now 2 quarters remaining in my MFA. 22 weeks to complete my thesis, create the film and the support material. First step is to revise the story and shot flow. Revising them is motivated by thoughts about the old mans flashbacks and my desire to use and feature the wall and its reflection more prominently in the visual fiction. Perhaps the reveal will be that the whole thing is taking place as a reflection in the wall...and experimenting with the reflection as the veil or boundary between life and death...blur the lines between reality and memory.
I have not worked on the art at all this quarter so I have some catching up to do...to be able to make all the elements in time. And complete the written thesis.
D_
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
John Marshall - Mentor, Friend, Teacher, Designer
This post has been moved to a BLOG set up to honor John. Please go to: http://byuindustrialdesign.blogspot.com/ to leave comments or contribute to the BLOG.
regards,
Duane
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Investing Trust in Students
Time flies - several weeks since my last post. My class work is not particularly demanding. I haven't done any artwork for REQUIEM for 5 weeks. And frankly since I've been working 7 days a week on afterworld there is no time. We are finishing the last episodes - 111 through 120 are in compositing. 121 through 130 are in animatic and character posing has begun. We will never do 130 episodes of anything ever again. ooofff.
A question and the attendant responses in my "how not to suck as a teacher" class was intriguing...and typical. Should a teacher invest trust in their students...and something about that extending to take home tests. Here's my thoughts:
The word invest implies giving something with an expectation of return of some kind. Holding an expectation brings vulnerability. Zen would recommend letting go of expectations and I ascribe to this. So for me it's not about trust it is about intention. Which, I believe is an order of magnitude more difficult to achieve than trust. Trust is too easily expected as clear intention languishes.
Trust is a natural consequence created through a clear contract or covenant between individuals when action and intention are congruent. Trust is not something that I carry in a bag on my back and can give or bestow on someone - I can't create it alone - it is only in the context of two people agreeing on intention, expected action and desired outcome that trust can be created.
I've heard it said that "trust is a risk survived".
When the contract is clear and the mutual expectations are agreed upon - then time and effort can be invested and trust will be the result. Faith and hope then are the investment tool. Anything other than this way is blind and unconscious - and doesn't end well.
Investing trust with the expectation that the trust will be warranted or that behavior will validate the trust given is a wonderful ideal. However in a world where most people move too easily to the "Why don't you trust me" pole, our culture places little true demand on individuals to actually make and keep commitments.
Learning from experience - trust is certainly important for growth and healthy relationships. It requires a certain kind of willingness to take risks and to be vulnerable. Both student and teacher have been hurt by betrayal of trust and expectation.
Turning to the concept of take-home tests. If the so-called test is meant to be a test in the truest sense of the word then there must be an element of challenge in the form. A test of facts and knowledge is not a test if the student is free to look up the knowledge and regurgitate the facts - that's a test of knowing how or where to find things in books. That's a valid test if that was the intended attribute to be tested. It's a subtle difference, yes, but call the "thing" what it is!
If the intended purpose of a test matches the form then it's a good test. One does not take the pole position at the Indy 500 by passing the written test.
If it is a test of synthesizing facts into an original thought then open books are indicated. Articulating the original thought is the test. The books are simply the raw material. The point is - trust your students and be clear about the point of the test and the intention behind the process.
Carl Jung said: "An understanding heart is everything in a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feeling. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child."
I would invest my heart in order to create trust.
D_
A question and the attendant responses in my "how not to suck as a teacher" class was intriguing...and typical. Should a teacher invest trust in their students...and something about that extending to take home tests. Here's my thoughts:
The word invest implies giving something with an expectation of return of some kind. Holding an expectation brings vulnerability. Zen would recommend letting go of expectations and I ascribe to this. So for me it's not about trust it is about intention. Which, I believe is an order of magnitude more difficult to achieve than trust. Trust is too easily expected as clear intention languishes.
Trust is a natural consequence created through a clear contract or covenant between individuals when action and intention are congruent. Trust is not something that I carry in a bag on my back and can give or bestow on someone - I can't create it alone - it is only in the context of two people agreeing on intention, expected action and desired outcome that trust can be created.
I've heard it said that "trust is a risk survived".
When the contract is clear and the mutual expectations are agreed upon - then time and effort can be invested and trust will be the result. Faith and hope then are the investment tool. Anything other than this way is blind and unconscious - and doesn't end well.
Investing trust with the expectation that the trust will be warranted or that behavior will validate the trust given is a wonderful ideal. However in a world where most people move too easily to the "Why don't you trust me" pole, our culture places little true demand on individuals to actually make and keep commitments.
Learning from experience - trust is certainly important for growth and healthy relationships. It requires a certain kind of willingness to take risks and to be vulnerable. Both student and teacher have been hurt by betrayal of trust and expectation.
Turning to the concept of take-home tests. If the so-called test is meant to be a test in the truest sense of the word then there must be an element of challenge in the form. A test of facts and knowledge is not a test if the student is free to look up the knowledge and regurgitate the facts - that's a test of knowing how or where to find things in books. That's a valid test if that was the intended attribute to be tested. It's a subtle difference, yes, but call the "thing" what it is!
If the intended purpose of a test matches the form then it's a good test. One does not take the pole position at the Indy 500 by passing the written test.
If it is a test of synthesizing facts into an original thought then open books are indicated. Articulating the original thought is the test. The books are simply the raw material. The point is - trust your students and be clear about the point of the test and the intention behind the process.
Carl Jung said: "An understanding heart is everything in a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feeling. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child."
I would invest my heart in order to create trust.
D_
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Random Stuff
My websites are up and running - partially.
www.duaneloose.com and www.alphazedstudios.com
Elementary School Blues:
A seven year old girl, first grader, receives the award for being the most respectful student in her class. Two weeks later she is taken to the principals office, given a referral and a 5 day detention...because, as she was goofing around with her friends in class she said she was going to kill them. She's 7 years old and was sobbing as her mom drove her home. This kid reads on the 4th grade level. Is sweet, smart and loving. She's also my daughter.
I am beyond words to express my disgust and contempt for the human and circumstantial elements of this incident including the real threat that sick and angry kids with guns pose in our schools and the derelict parents that raise them. I also point to the idiocy, laziness and lack of common sense, courtesy and love on the part of some of our teachers who take the easy road and blindly apply the Kids and Guns protocol. We are fortunate that they didn't also send the police to our house to search McKenzie's bedroom.
The world we live in is devolving before our eyes...and good families are all that is needed to heal the disease.
D_
www.duaneloose.com and www.alphazedstudios.com
Elementary School Blues:
A seven year old girl, first grader, receives the award for being the most respectful student in her class. Two weeks later she is taken to the principals office, given a referral and a 5 day detention...because, as she was goofing around with her friends in class she said she was going to kill them. She's 7 years old and was sobbing as her mom drove her home. This kid reads on the 4th grade level. Is sweet, smart and loving. She's also my daughter.
I am beyond words to express my disgust and contempt for the human and circumstantial elements of this incident including the real threat that sick and angry kids with guns pose in our schools and the derelict parents that raise them. I also point to the idiocy, laziness and lack of common sense, courtesy and love on the part of some of our teachers who take the easy road and blindly apply the Kids and Guns protocol. We are fortunate that they didn't also send the police to our house to search McKenzie's bedroom.
The world we live in is devolving before our eyes...and good families are all that is needed to heal the disease.
D_
Thursday, October 11, 2007
"Why" is a Head Question
I have come, by way of experience and endeavor, to choose the stance that my closely held beliefs cannot be explained in discussions that include the word: why. My belief is that answering the question why requires a posture of intellectual defense and often takes me out of my heart and into my head. And to be honest I don’t know why I hold a belief…nor do I care. What I do care about is how that belief serves me in the world. Does it help me to be a better father, husband, son and brother? Does it create animosity and confusion or love, understanding and clarity?
It is also my belief that humans are experts at creating lots of inane reasons for “why” they do something. And do so without understanding how the belief serves them or what they get out of being the way they choose (consciously or unconsciously) to be. People use their reasons why to justify all kinds of behavior and world views including many that go beyond simply strange or different into the realm of the abominable.
Questions containing the interrogative, why, can be rephrased to improve the power and insight of the answer. For example, the beginning question for this essay includes the phrase - why you believe you hold a particular theoretical or philosophical worldview? This question could be rephrased: How does holding a particular theoretical or philosophical world view serve you? Or What do you get out of holding a particular theoretical or philosophical world view? In this context I find a useful tool to peel back the layers of perceptual reality and uncover fundamental elements of my own beliefs and those of others. Using this subtle semantic adjustment I can explore beliefs in a way that doesn’t require defense and encourages reflection and thought. It also discourages the uncontrolled emotionalism spin into adolescent feelings so prevalent in our time.
In a society addicted to the expression of feelings and in love with its own image the ability look at how our choices and actions serve or don’t serve us and others brings clarity. It also creates the possibility to make new and better choices. Choices that can take us out of the victim-hood of why and into the clear understanding that the - how it serves me and the - what do I get out of this brings. We get something out of every positive and negative behavior, belief, intent and choice that we make. If we didn’t get something out of what we believe and choose, consciously or unconsciously, we would change our beliefs and choices to something that did serve us.
My family has served in the armed forces for 3 generations. The service is given because we were raised to believe that there is evil at war with good in the world. I believe that this is so. What I get out of this belief is a deep connection to an ancient impulse to protect the weak against danger. It is a genetically ingrained intensity I feel when the safety of my family is threatened. What I receive as a result of this belief is a spiritual and emotional connection to others who are similar to me. Our common bond creates a community of family, friends and loved ones. That community provides a safe place to be in the world. We stand as fellows on the side of what is right and good and are willing to sacrifice all for a greater good. This serves me and those I love and care for. It also serves those I don’t. That’s the paradox of community I think.
Now is a time of great turmoil. We are at war. My sons are at war. I honor them for their desire to serve, pray for their safety and grieve their fallen friends. The memory of the dead lingers in our hearts. We mourn all who have died. We mourn the children who die; some of them at the hands of our soldiers, many at the hands of those who would be called Uncle or Brother. This has happened before. Will it happen again? How does war serve us? What do we get out of war? What impact to individuals, families and society do we see decades later?
I believe that understanding the effect of the millions who died in the war to defeat the axis in WW2, for example, only requires us to look at the blessings and the ills we currently experience in our world culture. We are the answer to How did the war serve us? or What did we get out of the war? The long view back on history provides a clarifying component for the calculus of human conflict. This perspective is what I am seeking in my thesis. I need the clarity that only a long view can give.
We remember those who fell in the past and those who lived to tell the tale so that we would keep a memorial to them. There are more war memorials written on the hearts of the families, descendants and friends of the fallen than there are edifices built to their collective memories. It’s all we can do as a society, to build a token or symbol of the greater temple of memory that lies within. In the immediacy of our culture, with world events swarming our senses, this inner sanctum is the quiet place where our gratitude can be given for the freedom purchased with the blood of soldiers in the battle against evil. For as long as there are people who want to live as free souls there will always be the men and women who will stand between the despot that would rule by force, terror and tyranny.
My belief in the core of my thesis project has strengthened and deepened. I am resolved more than ever to give the vision of REQUIEM form.
It is also my belief that humans are experts at creating lots of inane reasons for “why” they do something. And do so without understanding how the belief serves them or what they get out of being the way they choose (consciously or unconsciously) to be. People use their reasons why to justify all kinds of behavior and world views including many that go beyond simply strange or different into the realm of the abominable.
Questions containing the interrogative, why, can be rephrased to improve the power and insight of the answer. For example, the beginning question for this essay includes the phrase - why you believe you hold a particular theoretical or philosophical worldview? This question could be rephrased: How does holding a particular theoretical or philosophical world view serve you? Or What do you get out of holding a particular theoretical or philosophical world view? In this context I find a useful tool to peel back the layers of perceptual reality and uncover fundamental elements of my own beliefs and those of others. Using this subtle semantic adjustment I can explore beliefs in a way that doesn’t require defense and encourages reflection and thought. It also discourages the uncontrolled emotionalism spin into adolescent feelings so prevalent in our time.
In a society addicted to the expression of feelings and in love with its own image the ability look at how our choices and actions serve or don’t serve us and others brings clarity. It also creates the possibility to make new and better choices. Choices that can take us out of the victim-hood of why and into the clear understanding that the - how it serves me and the - what do I get out of this brings. We get something out of every positive and negative behavior, belief, intent and choice that we make. If we didn’t get something out of what we believe and choose, consciously or unconsciously, we would change our beliefs and choices to something that did serve us.
My family has served in the armed forces for 3 generations. The service is given because we were raised to believe that there is evil at war with good in the world. I believe that this is so. What I get out of this belief is a deep connection to an ancient impulse to protect the weak against danger. It is a genetically ingrained intensity I feel when the safety of my family is threatened. What I receive as a result of this belief is a spiritual and emotional connection to others who are similar to me. Our common bond creates a community of family, friends and loved ones. That community provides a safe place to be in the world. We stand as fellows on the side of what is right and good and are willing to sacrifice all for a greater good. This serves me and those I love and care for. It also serves those I don’t. That’s the paradox of community I think.
Now is a time of great turmoil. We are at war. My sons are at war. I honor them for their desire to serve, pray for their safety and grieve their fallen friends. The memory of the dead lingers in our hearts. We mourn all who have died. We mourn the children who die; some of them at the hands of our soldiers, many at the hands of those who would be called Uncle or Brother. This has happened before. Will it happen again? How does war serve us? What do we get out of war? What impact to individuals, families and society do we see decades later?
I believe that understanding the effect of the millions who died in the war to defeat the axis in WW2, for example, only requires us to look at the blessings and the ills we currently experience in our world culture. We are the answer to How did the war serve us? or What did we get out of the war? The long view back on history provides a clarifying component for the calculus of human conflict. This perspective is what I am seeking in my thesis. I need the clarity that only a long view can give.
We remember those who fell in the past and those who lived to tell the tale so that we would keep a memorial to them. There are more war memorials written on the hearts of the families, descendants and friends of the fallen than there are edifices built to their collective memories. It’s all we can do as a society, to build a token or symbol of the greater temple of memory that lies within. In the immediacy of our culture, with world events swarming our senses, this inner sanctum is the quiet place where our gratitude can be given for the freedom purchased with the blood of soldiers in the battle against evil. For as long as there are people who want to live as free souls there will always be the men and women who will stand between the despot that would rule by force, terror and tyranny.
My belief in the core of my thesis project has strengthened and deepened. I am resolved more than ever to give the vision of REQUIEM form.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
FALL Quarter 2007 - Remembering Alex Darais
Alex Darais...
Was the first Design professor I remember teaching the principles that he also lived every waking moment. His lessons and presence were so powerful, gentle and engaging that his class was virtually mandatory for all BFA candidates.
He was insatiably curious about every facet of design and art to the point that he actively worked in multiple traditional media. From sculpture to painting, photography, furniture and product design, architecture and so forth, Alex built, painted, printed and explored the ocean of opportunity afforded him as a professor in a school of fine arts. Although he wasn't necessarily a master of all the media he explored he was a master of a fearless approach to teaching by example.
I remember coming to class one morning when Alex brought photographs of the sink drains in the ceramics department. These images were fantastic swirls of color and texture - at once abstract and entrancing. They represented awareness of the beauty available in invisible or disregarded places. We were captivated by his simple enthusiasm for the photos and how he found them. We were equally enthused by his quest to understand the physics and fluid dynamics that could create the confluence seen in his photos.
Alex took us on a visit to see an eminent professor of biology who was equally known for his scholarly work and for the intensely detailed drawings he would make of the diatoms he had spent his life studying. Presented with his art I felt, for the first time, the now familiar rise of desire to create something as worthy of devotion as the art and concepts of the scientific truth he was so wonderfully illustrating.
The experience in this one class formed my approach to my life as an artist and gave me permission to straddle two worlds. I learned that I could have the soul of a scientist and the imagination of the artist - that I could love and serve both the intellect and the heart. From Alex Darais I learned that being and artist and a designer is a powerful and wonderful way of being and viewing the world.
My work in his class - taking one theme or subject and creating seven works of art in different media - remains as the most satisfying and memorable experience in my life as a student - then and now.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
FALL Quarter 2007 - Week 1 Summary: Random Thoughts from Class
I was thinking about how to help students to approach the mysteries of creativity in an experimental and "learn by doing" fashion - not in an attitude of unwillingness to share knowledge or to pedantically mystify a student.
I think that some teachers are so eager to show what they know, and so determined to help students avoid problems that they undermine the necessary struggle for mastery required for real learning. Kind of like helping a butterfly to escape it's cocoon. Deadly for the bug!
Then there is the old saw about feeding a man a fish versus teaching a man how to fish. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. The Socratic method comes to mind as well.
I liked what one student in my "how not to suck as a teacher class" said about the teacher that didn't know how to make the subject interesting for her. And how that lead to her own self discovery. When I saw my first marker rendering of a car done by my Industrial Design professor - my heart leaped at the mystery of it.
How did he do it? Can I do it? Can he teach me how to do it?
The answer to all of those questions...before I was able to do it was "Yes". But the mystery remained and took many more years to understand. And it is still with me...the mystery of a blank piece of paper and what will the combination of muscles, neural synapse, eye and hand coordination, imagination and vision reveal on this blank page.
That's the mystery I refer to...and that can't be taught. The techniques can be shared, the step by step process as well. But the mystery can only be experienced by the seeker on the path.
I've been approached many times by people who say, "I've always wanted to do______" fill in the blanks...automotive design, sci-fi illustration, films, animation, 3d whatever. I ask them - "Well, why haven't you?" Always some lame excuse but ultimately it gets down to fear. They're afraid to try because they are afraid to fail...afraid to take a leap into the unknown...into the mystery.
This is a paradox because failure as a result of venturing into the unknown is the only way to learn. As a teacher, all I can actually do is create a safe container for failure and success alike. And safe containers are not easily created or maintained - it's hard work and the realm of the magician, king, warrior and lover.
That's what I mean by mystery.
I am also very weary of interviewing the "technicians" who have been vomited out from the institutes of higher learning who profess to be manufacturing product for our industry. Give me a mad scientist - willing to experiment and leap into the unknown any day over someone who knows how to navigate the GUI and press the buttons but lacks the taste and tolerance for the unknown.
D_
I think that some teachers are so eager to show what they know, and so determined to help students avoid problems that they undermine the necessary struggle for mastery required for real learning. Kind of like helping a butterfly to escape it's cocoon. Deadly for the bug!
Then there is the old saw about feeding a man a fish versus teaching a man how to fish. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. The Socratic method comes to mind as well.
I liked what one student in my "how not to suck as a teacher class" said about the teacher that didn't know how to make the subject interesting for her. And how that lead to her own self discovery. When I saw my first marker rendering of a car done by my Industrial Design professor - my heart leaped at the mystery of it.
How did he do it? Can I do it? Can he teach me how to do it?
The answer to all of those questions...before I was able to do it was "Yes". But the mystery remained and took many more years to understand. And it is still with me...the mystery of a blank piece of paper and what will the combination of muscles, neural synapse, eye and hand coordination, imagination and vision reveal on this blank page.
That's the mystery I refer to...and that can't be taught. The techniques can be shared, the step by step process as well. But the mystery can only be experienced by the seeker on the path.
I've been approached many times by people who say, "I've always wanted to do______" fill in the blanks...automotive design, sci-fi illustration, films, animation, 3d whatever. I ask them - "Well, why haven't you?" Always some lame excuse but ultimately it gets down to fear. They're afraid to try because they are afraid to fail...afraid to take a leap into the unknown...into the mystery.
This is a paradox because failure as a result of venturing into the unknown is the only way to learn. As a teacher, all I can actually do is create a safe container for failure and success alike. And safe containers are not easily created or maintained - it's hard work and the realm of the magician, king, warrior and lover.
That's what I mean by mystery.
I am also very weary of interviewing the "technicians" who have been vomited out from the institutes of higher learning who profess to be manufacturing product for our industry. Give me a mad scientist - willing to experiment and leap into the unknown any day over someone who knows how to navigate the GUI and press the buttons but lacks the taste and tolerance for the unknown.
D_
Saturday, September 29, 2007
FALL Quarter 2007 - Week 1
Two classes, lots of writing, production on REQUIEM to continue, finishing afterworld, getting my website up and running, starting Gemini, production design on Ghostkiller, Donovan's Window, Jona...
gaaaaccck.
Bright spots: Home, wife and family. Michael Greene back as one of the course facilitators.
Let the madness begin.
D_
gaaaaccck.
Bright spots: Home, wife and family. Michael Greene back as one of the course facilitators.
Let the madness begin.
D_
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Final "4 Seasons" images
Here are the finished versions of the "4 Seasons" production illustration. Finished - at least for now.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Lincoln Statue WIP
I've been working on the statue of Abraham Lincoln which sits inside the Lincoln Memorial - a very challenging (for me and my meager modeling skills) element for REQUIEM. I just don't model often enough to achieve the speed or the quality I want. He kind of looks like Sean Penn.
That's all for this Quarter.
D_
Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 11
This is my second to last post for the quarter...I'll put some images up for the Lincoln Memorial Statue I've been working on later this week or next. It has been a rewarding and challenging 11 weeks. I've done some things artistically that I am happy with.
I want to be alive as an artist. Every kind of artistic endeavor intrigues me. I was looking at the "skins" that artists have made for winamp. I want to make some. I look at the cool abstract BG's that people make and post on the web- I want to do that too. I want to write stories, make films, paint draw, create, build, demolish and build again. It is an addictive, fulfilling and highly exhilarating pursuit.
However, more important than being alive in that space - I want to be alive as a husband, father and friend. My life as an artist is wonderful because of my wife, family and friends. The smile of a child, a hug from my daughters, a date with my wife, shared moments with dear friends - give reason and purpose to the pursuit of a life dedicated to creation.
Being a professional artist, working in digital art and in entertainment comes with a cost. My family and I have sacrificed our time together so that I could work in this field and now, additionally, in pursuit of an MFA. It means that I have basically been a weekend or Sunday dad for many years. I am no longer willing to live this way - and obtaining an MFA is part of the puzzle to move to the next phase of my life as a husband, father and friend.
Speaking of a date with my wife...it's Saturday afternoon and I am heading home to do just that.
Be well...
See you next quarter.
D_
I want to be alive as an artist. Every kind of artistic endeavor intrigues me. I was looking at the "skins" that artists have made for winamp. I want to make some. I look at the cool abstract BG's that people make and post on the web- I want to do that too. I want to write stories, make films, paint draw, create, build, demolish and build again. It is an addictive, fulfilling and highly exhilarating pursuit.
However, more important than being alive in that space - I want to be alive as a husband, father and friend. My life as an artist is wonderful because of my wife, family and friends. The smile of a child, a hug from my daughters, a date with my wife, shared moments with dear friends - give reason and purpose to the pursuit of a life dedicated to creation.
Being a professional artist, working in digital art and in entertainment comes with a cost. My family and I have sacrificed our time together so that I could work in this field and now, additionally, in pursuit of an MFA. It means that I have basically been a weekend or Sunday dad for many years. I am no longer willing to live this way - and obtaining an MFA is part of the puzzle to move to the next phase of my life as a husband, father and friend.
Speaking of a date with my wife...it's Saturday afternoon and I am heading home to do just that.
Be well...
See you next quarter.
D_
Friday, September 14, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 10: The END is near
The end is near. For this quarter and for the online program at AI/MIU which, we heard this week, is ending. I feel very fortunate and grateful to have been a part of this program. The program will continue until the current students have graduated. For me that will be next June at the end of the 11th Quarter. That's all for this week. I am feeling sad about the program and weary of this quarter. Here's my final BG for Sc_09 made into a poster for REQUIEM.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Sick of the BS: OPRAH.com - How to deliver Bad News.
I'm fed up with new age hoo-haw that masquerades as advice on how to live life. The latest inanity comes from the estimable Oprah.com, posted on CNN, titled "The 'Dear John' talk and other dreaded conversations" I'll let you read it for yourself.
This is why our society and the relationships we form are sick, twisted and dysfunctional. Instead of addressing the issues of why the difficult conversation has to take place - or looking at the roots of the issues - the article teaches us how to be slick, silver tongued and ultimately and deeply selfish and self centered about how to have difficult conversations - which if we were conscious and in integrity with the values that make great relationships the conversation wouldn't have to take place at all or would be extremely different in tone or delivery.
You can say anything with love - true love - in your heart. And taking Donald Trump or Anne Robinson as role models, mentors or advisers is so far from what we need as human beings that it makes me want to vomit.
The spiritual energy embodied in the concepts touted in this article are not based in the ideals of accountability required in our day to heal relationships or deal with difficult situations. But hey, that's what we want from Oprah and the like...right? Someone to tell us what to do, how to think, how to be in the world...and how to victimize others in the name of manners or propriety, or selfishly getting what we want. Same goes for idiot boy Dr. Phil and all the psycho-babbling executive coaches that rely on sycophantic relationships to make money.
What has happened to the deep and sacred "knowing" of how to be a human being? Compassion, love, charity are sacrificed on the altar of the "Art of Letting Them Down Easy".
Letting someone down used to mean that we failed to keep a commitment, now it's an art form. That is so typical of a world in love with it's own image and the sound of it's own voice.
Our "word" means nothing because it is too easy to weasel out of doing what we promised we would do. Our society has perfected the fine art of letting ourselves and others off the hook. No wonder the divorce rate sits at 60%. This is what happens when unconscious, immature, unaccountable people get married. And men...men aren't afraid of commitment as much as they simply don't know how to make one to themselves or to what they believe - let alone making a commitment to someone else.
The impetus or inducement to commit is highly motivated by selfishness - what will this (relationship) do for me? Perhaps if we were truly thinking of other people we wouldn't put ourselves in the situation where those hard or difficult conversations would be necessary. My truth is this - difficult conversations take place after one or both of the parties have engaged in a dishonest, masked relationship...and ignored or lived with the problems without addressing them along the way. That sucks. Believe me.
If you must have the dear john conversation and create and experience all the drama in turn expending massive amounts of emotional and spiritual energy then you deserve what you get. At some level you've chosen an unconscious life...mostly because of not paying attention.
ranting
D_
This is why our society and the relationships we form are sick, twisted and dysfunctional. Instead of addressing the issues of why the difficult conversation has to take place - or looking at the roots of the issues - the article teaches us how to be slick, silver tongued and ultimately and deeply selfish and self centered about how to have difficult conversations - which if we were conscious and in integrity with the values that make great relationships the conversation wouldn't have to take place at all or would be extremely different in tone or delivery.
You can say anything with love - true love - in your heart. And taking Donald Trump or Anne Robinson as role models, mentors or advisers is so far from what we need as human beings that it makes me want to vomit.
The spiritual energy embodied in the concepts touted in this article are not based in the ideals of accountability required in our day to heal relationships or deal with difficult situations. But hey, that's what we want from Oprah and the like...right? Someone to tell us what to do, how to think, how to be in the world...and how to victimize others in the name of manners or propriety, or selfishly getting what we want. Same goes for idiot boy Dr. Phil and all the psycho-babbling executive coaches that rely on sycophantic relationships to make money.
What has happened to the deep and sacred "knowing" of how to be a human being? Compassion, love, charity are sacrificed on the altar of the "Art of Letting Them Down Easy".
Letting someone down used to mean that we failed to keep a commitment, now it's an art form. That is so typical of a world in love with it's own image and the sound of it's own voice.
Our "word" means nothing because it is too easy to weasel out of doing what we promised we would do. Our society has perfected the fine art of letting ourselves and others off the hook. No wonder the divorce rate sits at 60%. This is what happens when unconscious, immature, unaccountable people get married. And men...men aren't afraid of commitment as much as they simply don't know how to make one to themselves or to what they believe - let alone making a commitment to someone else.
The impetus or inducement to commit is highly motivated by selfishness - what will this (relationship) do for me? Perhaps if we were truly thinking of other people we wouldn't put ourselves in the situation where those hard or difficult conversations would be necessary. My truth is this - difficult conversations take place after one or both of the parties have engaged in a dishonest, masked relationship...and ignored or lived with the problems without addressing them along the way. That sucks. Believe me.
If you must have the dear john conversation and create and experience all the drama in turn expending massive amounts of emotional and spiritual energy then you deserve what you get. At some level you've chosen an unconscious life...mostly because of not paying attention.
ranting
D_
Monday, September 3, 2007
Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 9: Online MFA: Roles in Learning
I've been thinking about my experience in the past 2 years of online MFA. Comparing it to an on the ground (OTG) program would not necessarily be useful as my last student OTG experience was almost 30 years ago - and my last OTG teaching experience was 13 years ago at Cal Sate Long Beach.
Many things have changed in that time - what hasn't changed is human nature. My experience with the online process has revealed more about that nature - on the student side and on the facilitator side. I've ranted a bit in the past about both sides.
Each individual brings their strengths and weaknesses to the online classroom. In the process of learning choices are presented. Choices that will determine how efficacious the learning and development process is for both student and facilitator. An individuals ability to recognize and make the choices that will bring them to a desirable outcome is related to where they are on a continuum of maturity, experience, wisdom, technical and artistic ability. Knowledge of one's place on this continuum is critical to learning. This knowledge puts the student and facilitator into the context of the core purpose of the individual class specifically and the intent of the degree in general.
The learning experience, in my view, then becomes an effort to move beyond where one currently sits on that continuum. This is necessary to be "alive" as an artist, both as a student and as a facilitator. The two major factors in an effective outcome are: 1- a clear understanding of where we are in our own continuum; and 2- a well defined role that we choose to play in the process of learning.
1- Where we are in the continuum.
All of us are prone to self deception. On the extreme gold side we think our work is grand, perfect, without flaw. On the shadow side we are too easily and falsely humbled - dropping into self deprecation - not willing to stand our ground or own our brilliance. Chasing one or both of those polar energies leads to insanity by ignorance and capitulation and results in sterility and death as an artist.
It is very difficult to self critique in a realistic and accurate way without falling into false humility on one side or paralyzing analysis on the other. The middle road of accurate data and clear critique is not normally possible from one's own limited point of view. This is why we give each other the gift of our critical observation.
When we embark on the pursuit of an advanced degree, we are in essence agreeing that we want to move to a point further on our continuum. We acknowledge that we are willing to submit to a process of examination and critique by facilitators and fellow students so that learning and progression can take place. Without clear understanding of where one sits on the continuum and where one needs to go to progress there is no possibility of progression. A rehash or repetition of the things one already is proficient in is not worthy of the process or the degree. Real change and progression is only possible when my mind is as this Buddhist saying suggests: Zen Mind, Beginners Mind.
2- A Well Defined Role
...that we choose to play in the process. The roles we play are chosen by us. We may not realize that we choose to play the roles we play, but we do. It is critical that we are conscious in our choices.
Facilitators can choose one or more of the roles of producer, technical director or art director. They cannot choose the role belonging solely to the student - that of artist and creator.
Students can also in turn choose to lead in their area of power - be that a technical or artistic skill, art direction and/or technical direction. They cannot choose the role reserved for the facilitator - Producer. Thus "good fences" make "good neighbors". Well defined boundaries eliminate confusion, conflict and controversy.
Students cannot and must not be allowed to be their own producers. A student as a producer negates the facilitators ability to hold the student accountable to their own vision and to guide them to higher achievement. This doesn't mean that the student is not accountable to production process or producible projects. It means that the inmates, regardless of who they are, cannot run the asylum. The facilitator as producer protects and affirms the quality and standards required by the school necessary to award a degree that has real meaning and worth.
It is critical that the facilitators be skilled as producers and possess a high level of acknowledged expertise in their craft. It is equally critical that students be willing to be "produced" by a facilitator in order to grow beyond their own self deception and limitations. Both roles exist and operate in the same functional model that works in the real world of production.
When students or facilitators either don't know where they are on the continuum of artistic development and/or fail to function in the critical roles required the process breaks down and the desired outcome is not achieved.
What Stands in Our Way:
Ego, the inability to take critique, unwillingness to be "produced", laziness...any and all shadowy sideways behavior are manifestations of a core self-truth. These core beliefs may be that: one is smarter than all the rest of the students or facilitators - that one "knows better" - is more talented, more experienced - a "who the hell do they think they are - telling me what to do" attitude. That core belief may exhibit itself as a choice to hide, repress or deny one's weakness or lack of knowledge in order to appear to know more than one does. This problem is rampant in masters programs that cater to experienced professionals where we all want acknowledgment and credit for what we have already accomplished. However, when it comes to learning and progression - there is no future in the past.
The core belief one holds, consciously or unconsciously, may manifest itself in any number of malfunctions. And the end result is always that the learner fails to learn...because at some level the learner chooses not to learn.
The antidote for this disease is a clear, honest assessment and acknowledgment of ones' strengths and weakness - magnified by willingness to submit to and trust the process. This, along with a free will choice to play the role necessary to progress along the path, yields great learning. Not the facilitators path, nor the schools...but ones own path to mastery...of ones self and ones own artistic vision.
D_
Many things have changed in that time - what hasn't changed is human nature. My experience with the online process has revealed more about that nature - on the student side and on the facilitator side. I've ranted a bit in the past about both sides.
Each individual brings their strengths and weaknesses to the online classroom. In the process of learning choices are presented. Choices that will determine how efficacious the learning and development process is for both student and facilitator. An individuals ability to recognize and make the choices that will bring them to a desirable outcome is related to where they are on a continuum of maturity, experience, wisdom, technical and artistic ability. Knowledge of one's place on this continuum is critical to learning. This knowledge puts the student and facilitator into the context of the core purpose of the individual class specifically and the intent of the degree in general.
The learning experience, in my view, then becomes an effort to move beyond where one currently sits on that continuum. This is necessary to be "alive" as an artist, both as a student and as a facilitator. The two major factors in an effective outcome are: 1- a clear understanding of where we are in our own continuum; and 2- a well defined role that we choose to play in the process of learning.
1- Where we are in the continuum.
All of us are prone to self deception. On the extreme gold side we think our work is grand, perfect, without flaw. On the shadow side we are too easily and falsely humbled - dropping into self deprecation - not willing to stand our ground or own our brilliance. Chasing one or both of those polar energies leads to insanity by ignorance and capitulation and results in sterility and death as an artist.
It is very difficult to self critique in a realistic and accurate way without falling into false humility on one side or paralyzing analysis on the other. The middle road of accurate data and clear critique is not normally possible from one's own limited point of view. This is why we give each other the gift of our critical observation.
When we embark on the pursuit of an advanced degree, we are in essence agreeing that we want to move to a point further on our continuum. We acknowledge that we are willing to submit to a process of examination and critique by facilitators and fellow students so that learning and progression can take place. Without clear understanding of where one sits on the continuum and where one needs to go to progress there is no possibility of progression. A rehash or repetition of the things one already is proficient in is not worthy of the process or the degree. Real change and progression is only possible when my mind is as this Buddhist saying suggests: Zen Mind, Beginners Mind.
2- A Well Defined Role
...that we choose to play in the process. The roles we play are chosen by us. We may not realize that we choose to play the roles we play, but we do. It is critical that we are conscious in our choices.
Facilitators can choose one or more of the roles of producer, technical director or art director. They cannot choose the role belonging solely to the student - that of artist and creator.
Students can also in turn choose to lead in their area of power - be that a technical or artistic skill, art direction and/or technical direction. They cannot choose the role reserved for the facilitator - Producer. Thus "good fences" make "good neighbors". Well defined boundaries eliminate confusion, conflict and controversy.
Students cannot and must not be allowed to be their own producers. A student as a producer negates the facilitators ability to hold the student accountable to their own vision and to guide them to higher achievement. This doesn't mean that the student is not accountable to production process or producible projects. It means that the inmates, regardless of who they are, cannot run the asylum. The facilitator as producer protects and affirms the quality and standards required by the school necessary to award a degree that has real meaning and worth.
It is critical that the facilitators be skilled as producers and possess a high level of acknowledged expertise in their craft. It is equally critical that students be willing to be "produced" by a facilitator in order to grow beyond their own self deception and limitations. Both roles exist and operate in the same functional model that works in the real world of production.
When students or facilitators either don't know where they are on the continuum of artistic development and/or fail to function in the critical roles required the process breaks down and the desired outcome is not achieved.
What Stands in Our Way:
Ego, the inability to take critique, unwillingness to be "produced", laziness...any and all shadowy sideways behavior are manifestations of a core self-truth. These core beliefs may be that: one is smarter than all the rest of the students or facilitators - that one "knows better" - is more talented, more experienced - a "who the hell do they think they are - telling me what to do" attitude. That core belief may exhibit itself as a choice to hide, repress or deny one's weakness or lack of knowledge in order to appear to know more than one does. This problem is rampant in masters programs that cater to experienced professionals where we all want acknowledgment and credit for what we have already accomplished. However, when it comes to learning and progression - there is no future in the past.
The core belief one holds, consciously or unconsciously, may manifest itself in any number of malfunctions. And the end result is always that the learner fails to learn...because at some level the learner chooses not to learn.
The antidote for this disease is a clear, honest assessment and acknowledgment of ones' strengths and weakness - magnified by willingness to submit to and trust the process. This, along with a free will choice to play the role necessary to progress along the path, yields great learning. Not the facilitators path, nor the schools...but ones own path to mastery...of ones self and ones own artistic vision.
D_
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 8: VisDev Progress
Work this week includes a revision of the BG matte for SC_09 and the right side of the 4 Seasons production painting is complete. I've posted a partial detail image.
I didn't like the way the BG Matte was looking so I completely revised the POV and BG elements. The 4 Seasons image is challenging...but I am learning so much as I go. The MG soldiers are in progress...not liking them yet.
That's all for this week except to say that this is the end of Week 8. 3 More weeks until this quarter is complete and another milestone is passed. I am looking forward to being done next year...but of course there is much to do before that time. I find it helpful to take one day at a time. Helps me focus on here, now and the task directly before me.
D_
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
He Was Old When the War Began...
He was old when the war began
…maybe a world where it was different
…where men didn’t fight and kill each other
…where men didn’t have to fight
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 7: The Transformation of Death
My guest Blogger this week is Mike Owen. Mike is my mentor, dear friend and example of the kind of man I strive to be. We have "grown-up" together through many dangerous adventures. He wrote to me earlier this week - I've edited his missive a little and find the philosophy of Paul Tillich to be intriguing.
On first approach it may seem that Tillich's views of God are atheistic (see the final lines of Mike's post) - on deeper consideration - it seems to me that Tillich is simply challenging the pablum of modern religious sophists who eschew truth in favor of universal acceptance. The free gift of immortality notwithstanding.
What stands out to me in Mike's entry is this phrase from Paul Tillich - whose writings Mike is currently reading in pursuit of his degree.
“The dead are not allowed to show that they are dead; they are transformed into a mask of the living.” Paul Tillich
This idea has implications for REQUIEM. Indeed, how do we keep the dead from showing they are dead? By keeping their memory alive? By remembering them? And how does a man - like the Old Man -wear the mask of the dead? I don't know the answers. But I think the Old Man does.
Mike Owen writes:
On first approach it may seem that Tillich's views of God are atheistic (see the final lines of Mike's post) - on deeper consideration - it seems to me that Tillich is simply challenging the pablum of modern religious sophists who eschew truth in favor of universal acceptance. The free gift of immortality notwithstanding.
What stands out to me in Mike's entry is this phrase from Paul Tillich - whose writings Mike is currently reading in pursuit of his degree.
“The dead are not allowed to show that they are dead; they are transformed into a mask of the living.” Paul Tillich
This idea has implications for REQUIEM. Indeed, how do we keep the dead from showing they are dead? By keeping their memory alive? By remembering them? And how does a man - like the Old Man -wear the mask of the dead? I don't know the answers. But I think the Old Man does.
Mike Owen writes:
…the B&W look of your latest... the grain and sharpness reminds me of the look from a Leica M lens. These are such great lenses they withstand most of the harsh flare that will ruin a photo when pointing into the sun.
accomplish my task. Death is the other half of this anxiety. As death marks the end of time in this plane in which I’m supposed to find and complete my mission.
“The anxiety conquered in the courage to be as a part is considerable, because the threat of being excluded from such a participation by unemployment or the loss of an economic basis is
what, above all, fate means today.”
"The anxiety about death is met in two ways. The reality of death is excluded from daily life to the highest possible degree. The dead are not allowed to show that they are dead; they are transformed into a mask of the living. The other and more important way of dealing with death is the belief in a continuation of life after death, called
immortality of the soul. This is not Christian and hardly a Platonic doctrine. Christianity speaks of resurrection and eternal life - Platonism of a participation of the soul in the trans-temporal sphere of essences. But the modern idea of immortality means a continuous participation in the productive process- “time world without end.”
REQUIEM Look Develpment: Old Man WIP -
Here's the latest WIP for the Old Man. I revised his eyes, added the beginnings of his facial hair, gave him some pins and such for his identification as a Vietnam Vet and also gave him a head under his hat. The previous version looked a little odd and I rec'd feedback as such. I've also rec'd some very interesting comments from 2 sources that I will post in my blog for this week. More on that in the post.There is something about this image that is growing in my heart. I react with a feeling of a high and lonely wind blowing through the holes in my heart. That and a growing sense of honor and duty.
D_
Sunday, August 19, 2007
More REQUIEM Look Development
Here's another look dev piece. I comped a render of the Old Man WIP model into the BG Matte for SC_09.D_
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 6: What If...
I've been working on the look of REQUIEM - this is the vector. What if the old man's world has become increasingly like an old faded photograph? What if his memories of Vietnam are all that holds color for him in his life? Color and look are the visual embodiment of his inner thoughts. Like the faded photos - at the bottom of his trunk. The trunk that holds the letters from his fallen friends and comrades. The letters containing their last wishes.
What if...
D_
Friday, August 10, 2007
Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 5: Nothing Can Suck
I have started creating the models for the exterior of the Lincoln Memorial, the Lincoln statue and the Old Man.
I enjoy modeling - my process is slow and because I am a perfectionist I rework the mesh quite a bit from session to session. Sometimes to the point of scrapping something and starting from scratch. It's easier than continuing down the rabbit hole.
I use two very basic techniques "box" and "patch". I don't have a preference. Although I find patch modeling to be great for cars and complex surfaces, box modeling is also fun and rewarding. As I started my homework tonight, Larry Schultz (a.k.a Spline God) came over to see what I was working on.
Larry and I work together on "afterworld" and he is an extraordinary CG artist using Lightwave . His website is: http://www.splinegod.com
He also happens to be one of the best and fastest modelers I've met...so I was a little shy about showing him my work for REQUIEM. I mentioned that I enjoy modeling but don't care about being an amazing modeler -however I don't want my models to suck. Which sparked a "Nothing Can Suck" conversation.
Basically what this means for me is this: My focus is story telling and I don't want the story to suffer in it's telling because of a poorly executed visual element. And because of time constraints there is not always time to create everything at the most amazing level. But there is a quality bar below which I won't allow my work to go. That's the "Nothing Can Suck" bar (NCS).
Every project I have worked on in my career ends up with a handful of defining visual elements. Might be lighting or visual effects, or animation, color palette or production design. Those elements rise above the NCS bar and are the elements that get a disproportionate amount of time and attention. They are the "stars". Everything else must be good (can't suck) and are, essentially there to support the stars- the ultimate star being the story.
Of course, the cool thing is, because of progress and experience, the NCS bar gets higher all the time. Someday I might even make something that is really good. Beyond my current limitations.
I certainly hope so. Why else do we keep creating - if not for the journey to grow in talent and vision realized?
That's all for this week. I'll post some WIP pictures of my models.
D_
I enjoy modeling - my process is slow and because I am a perfectionist I rework the mesh quite a bit from session to session. Sometimes to the point of scrapping something and starting from scratch. It's easier than continuing down the rabbit hole.
I use two very basic techniques "box" and "patch". I don't have a preference. Although I find patch modeling to be great for cars and complex surfaces, box modeling is also fun and rewarding. As I started my homework tonight, Larry Schultz (a.k.a Spline God) came over to see what I was working on.
Larry and I work together on "afterworld" and he is an extraordinary CG artist using Lightwave . His website is: http://www.splinegod.com
He also happens to be one of the best and fastest modelers I've met...so I was a little shy about showing him my work for REQUIEM. I mentioned that I enjoy modeling but don't care about being an amazing modeler -however I don't want my models to suck. Which sparked a "Nothing Can Suck" conversation.
Basically what this means for me is this: My focus is story telling and I don't want the story to suffer in it's telling because of a poorly executed visual element. And because of time constraints there is not always time to create everything at the most amazing level. But there is a quality bar below which I won't allow my work to go. That's the "Nothing Can Suck" bar (NCS).
Every project I have worked on in my career ends up with a handful of defining visual elements. Might be lighting or visual effects, or animation, color palette or production design. Those elements rise above the NCS bar and are the elements that get a disproportionate amount of time and attention. They are the "stars". Everything else must be good (can't suck) and are, essentially there to support the stars- the ultimate star being the story.
Of course, the cool thing is, because of progress and experience, the NCS bar gets higher all the time. Someday I might even make something that is really good. Beyond my current limitations.
I certainly hope so. Why else do we keep creating - if not for the journey to grow in talent and vision realized?
That's all for this week. I'll post some WIP pictures of my models.
D_
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 4: The Indispensable Leader
IHere's the latest progress on "4 Seasons". The Lincoln Memorial is complete and now I'm working on the VVM Wall and starting the addition of the army of the Civil War.
I've been thinking about why I included the Lincoln Memorial in REQUIEM and featured it in this painting. The inscription above Lincoln's statue inside the memorial is:
I've been thinking about why I included the Lincoln Memorial in REQUIEM and featured it in this painting. The inscription above Lincoln's statue inside the memorial is:
In this Temple
As in the Hearts of the People
For Whom He Saved the Union
The Memory of Abraham Lincoln
Is Enshrined Forever
Although this is a temple to the memory of one man - it is the shrine to the ideals for which he lived and died - it is also a temple to the ideals of freedom, equality and right action in the face of extreme opposition. He was, to paraphrase James Thomas Flexner, another "Indispensable Man". As was George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and others in their day. Our investigative reporter culture looks back through time - and attempts to dethrone these heroes of past days. This is an twisted "king-killer" mentality that robs the good and feeds the negative and demeaning energy in our world.
Our leaders are lampooned and denigrated, in part, because we will not be lead by indispensable men or women as we were in the past. Oh! We say we want them and we certainly need both men and women of the indispensable variety - but our sibling society can't abide true and powerful masculine and feminine archetypes. And while we shouldn't abide the tyranny of evil leadership we have no evidence of cultural value that we can point to that shows that we truly value indispensable leaders. Indeed the opposite is true - we distrust men and women of faith and character. We consume super sized portions of rudeness and crude language and boorish behavior - we strain at gnats and swallow camels. And in many cases we have been betrayed by those who violate sacred oaths to protect and serve. It's difficult to mend the broken wheel of trust.
Indeed current leadership behavior and politics are fine fodder for the new political leaders rising in the LA Confidential-ized world. Look at LA's mayor for example. Bereft of leadership and basic morality - and unwilling or incapable of common shame that would bring fidelity and integrity back to his life. Poor man. Poor man's children. Poor LA.
Have we, in the name of fear of dictators and tyrants, ceased to be a world capable of producing leaders like Lincoln? Have we lost the desire to be led by great men and women? Certainly we have lost the inclination to have them lead us. Oh! But just wait until they are needed. Then indeed we will raise our wailing voices and gnash our teeth, crying out to be saved.
I believe that society, culture and the localized bad weather of the times we live in, cannot stay the rise of the indispensable leader - leaders rise because of great cosmic necessity in spite of the immature adult children that will whine and complain about the hard things that must be done. They rise so that goodness can thrive. They rise in spite of the "King Killers" in our world - those that snipe, demean, and diminish the heroic and royal, even godly, in all of us.
And where are the temples and memorials of our modern day. They are all around us in the shadows and the veneer of things that appear worthy of devotion. Shiny and good smelling...but ultimately white washed tombs full of death and corruption. Shopping Malls and courthouses where our children, friends and neighbors worship at the altar of strange gods named Nordstrom and Dissolution of Marriage. Vomitoriums of the engorged consumer.
I look to Lincoln...yes he was a mere mortal man...I look to him and remember and try to honor his memory in the best way I can - through my meager gifts as an artist.
And this is why I remember Lincoln. And live in faith that when indispensable men or women are needed they will rise in the time required to save the union.
Have to go now - I need to go shopping at Best Buy.
D_
As in the Hearts of the People
For Whom He Saved the Union
The Memory of Abraham Lincoln
Is Enshrined Forever
Although this is a temple to the memory of one man - it is the shrine to the ideals for which he lived and died - it is also a temple to the ideals of freedom, equality and right action in the face of extreme opposition. He was, to paraphrase James Thomas Flexner, another "Indispensable Man". As was George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and others in their day. Our investigative reporter culture looks back through time - and attempts to dethrone these heroes of past days. This is an twisted "king-killer" mentality that robs the good and feeds the negative and demeaning energy in our world.
Our leaders are lampooned and denigrated, in part, because we will not be lead by indispensable men or women as we were in the past. Oh! We say we want them and we certainly need both men and women of the indispensable variety - but our sibling society can't abide true and powerful masculine and feminine archetypes. And while we shouldn't abide the tyranny of evil leadership we have no evidence of cultural value that we can point to that shows that we truly value indispensable leaders. Indeed the opposite is true - we distrust men and women of faith and character. We consume super sized portions of rudeness and crude language and boorish behavior - we strain at gnats and swallow camels. And in many cases we have been betrayed by those who violate sacred oaths to protect and serve. It's difficult to mend the broken wheel of trust.
Indeed current leadership behavior and politics are fine fodder for the new political leaders rising in the LA Confidential-ized world. Look at LA's mayor for example. Bereft of leadership and basic morality - and unwilling or incapable of common shame that would bring fidelity and integrity back to his life. Poor man. Poor man's children. Poor LA.
Have we, in the name of fear of dictators and tyrants, ceased to be a world capable of producing leaders like Lincoln? Have we lost the desire to be led by great men and women? Certainly we have lost the inclination to have them lead us. Oh! But just wait until they are needed. Then indeed we will raise our wailing voices and gnash our teeth, crying out to be saved.
I believe that society, culture and the localized bad weather of the times we live in, cannot stay the rise of the indispensable leader - leaders rise because of great cosmic necessity in spite of the immature adult children that will whine and complain about the hard things that must be done. They rise so that goodness can thrive. They rise in spite of the "King Killers" in our world - those that snipe, demean, and diminish the heroic and royal, even godly, in all of us.
And where are the temples and memorials of our modern day. They are all around us in the shadows and the veneer of things that appear worthy of devotion. Shiny and good smelling...but ultimately white washed tombs full of death and corruption. Shopping Malls and courthouses where our children, friends and neighbors worship at the altar of strange gods named Nordstrom and Dissolution of Marriage. Vomitoriums of the engorged consumer.
I look to Lincoln...yes he was a mere mortal man...I look to him and remember and try to honor his memory in the best way I can - through my meager gifts as an artist.
And this is why I remember Lincoln. And live in faith that when indispensable men or women are needed they will rise in the time required to save the union.
Have to go now - I need to go shopping at Best Buy.
D_
Friday, July 27, 2007
Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 3: Fear and Love
Short post this week. Lots to do. Here's a peek at the painting in progress I'm working on for REQUIEM. I started this in the Winter Quarter (which is posted in an early Blog entry).
Love and fear. Fear and love. Opposites. Some people think that the opposite of fear is courage. It's not. Heroes are those that feel the fear and choose to do the thing they fear anyway. The Samurai were taught to put their fear on the end of their swords and cut with it.
I find myself paralyzed at times...not knowing what to do when I am faced with creating something. It is fear of many flavors that holds me back. I find the prescription for this to be simply starting to do the work...and also to do something that I love to do in the process. Perhaps this is why my home projects always necessitate a trip to Home Depot.
The good books say: "Perfect love casteth out fear" and "Fear not. Only love" and a thousand other pieces of wisdom from every prophet and saint in history. Who, by the way, were often indistinguishable from crazy people and madmen in their time...living in caves, wearing animal skins and eating insects.
D_
Friday, July 20, 2007
Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 2 - First: Make It Ugly
One of the most important personal process lessons that I've learned in the past few years is the power of "make it ugly"...as in: "make some ugly, sloppy, unfinished art...and make it FAST".
I am addicted to perfection...to that heartbreaking, bone crushing drive to rework something over and over until my eyeballs are bleeding, my brain shuts down and I drop into fear and loathing. I do this to myself all the time...and can feel it coming. I have often been helpless to avoid it. This circumstance doesn't serve me well in my work. Learning how to apply the iteration and power of perfection and when to apply it has always been a struggle for me until I learned to "make it ugly" first.
I am a "crock-pot" artist - I have to cook for a while, slow simmer, as I finish my art. I attribute this to the fact (my own judgment) that I am not a natural artist. However, my superpower is that I can see something, know what is wrong with it immediately and devise a way to fix it. This means the sooner I can rough out my work the faster I can begin the slow cook process of perfecting it - the sooner I can see the parts that I want to perfect. Letting art sit for a while and coming back to it with fresh eyes is very important as I am often blinded by the immediate.
Making it "Ugly" is not a unique or new idea in art or any other endeavor. We sketch and draw seeking for ideas. Thumbnails and napkin sketches and so on, allow us to explore ideas freely. We make models, throw ugly pots, build prototypes and mockups and so on. All to flush out the ideas into the light.
Creating ideas at the speed of thought necessitates a certain detachment from the visual representation of the idea - the artwork. I need to let go of the outcome and simply love the process of creating. The art will be what it is in the end - when I abandon it and move on to the next idea. If I am so caught up in the drive to perfect the visual iconography of creative thought, to make something perfect right away - I slow down my creative process.
Writers do this in their rough draft process...often writing without editing until after the first draft is finished.
The work I produce evolves from initial concept - this evolution is a somewhat mystical artistic "thing" that is a wonderfully mysterious part of the creative process. When I begin something I don't know how it will finish. I do my best to visualize it with tools and techniques in order to guide my process and not get distracted from the vision I have seen in my mind. But then something happens along the way that I can describe as the "art knows what it wants to be" phenomenon.
My mentors have taught me that if I am struggling with a shot (in a film) - step back, listen to what it is saying and don't force my will on it. What "it" wants to be will reveal itself in context of the story. In this way, I am required to get out of the way and let the art evolve.
The process of perfecting art work also follows this path of mystical revelation. Perfection is based on the principled execution of basic techniques and elements. If basic perspective is flawed or wrong the final will likewise be flawed. If principles of color, composition or story telling and acting are not present or ill conceived then the end result will suffer. Some may say that this single minded focus on basics robs one of artistic freedom. I think that's hogwash...in order to break the basic rules one must master them beforehand. Otherwise the art is accidental and bereft of intention and commitment.
For me perfection is in the execution of the basics - genius is in the concept and the two coupled together yield art worthy of devotion.
but first: make it ugly - make it fast.
D_
I am addicted to perfection...to that heartbreaking, bone crushing drive to rework something over and over until my eyeballs are bleeding, my brain shuts down and I drop into fear and loathing. I do this to myself all the time...and can feel it coming. I have often been helpless to avoid it. This circumstance doesn't serve me well in my work. Learning how to apply the iteration and power of perfection and when to apply it has always been a struggle for me until I learned to "make it ugly" first.
I am a "crock-pot" artist - I have to cook for a while, slow simmer, as I finish my art. I attribute this to the fact (my own judgment) that I am not a natural artist. However, my superpower is that I can see something, know what is wrong with it immediately and devise a way to fix it. This means the sooner I can rough out my work the faster I can begin the slow cook process of perfecting it - the sooner I can see the parts that I want to perfect. Letting art sit for a while and coming back to it with fresh eyes is very important as I am often blinded by the immediate.
Making it "Ugly" is not a unique or new idea in art or any other endeavor. We sketch and draw seeking for ideas. Thumbnails and napkin sketches and so on, allow us to explore ideas freely. We make models, throw ugly pots, build prototypes and mockups and so on. All to flush out the ideas into the light.
Creating ideas at the speed of thought necessitates a certain detachment from the visual representation of the idea - the artwork. I need to let go of the outcome and simply love the process of creating. The art will be what it is in the end - when I abandon it and move on to the next idea. If I am so caught up in the drive to perfect the visual iconography of creative thought, to make something perfect right away - I slow down my creative process.
Writers do this in their rough draft process...often writing without editing until after the first draft is finished.
The work I produce evolves from initial concept - this evolution is a somewhat mystical artistic "thing" that is a wonderfully mysterious part of the creative process. When I begin something I don't know how it will finish. I do my best to visualize it with tools and techniques in order to guide my process and not get distracted from the vision I have seen in my mind. But then something happens along the way that I can describe as the "art knows what it wants to be" phenomenon.
My mentors have taught me that if I am struggling with a shot (in a film) - step back, listen to what it is saying and don't force my will on it. What "it" wants to be will reveal itself in context of the story. In this way, I am required to get out of the way and let the art evolve.
The process of perfecting art work also follows this path of mystical revelation. Perfection is based on the principled execution of basic techniques and elements. If basic perspective is flawed or wrong the final will likewise be flawed. If principles of color, composition or story telling and acting are not present or ill conceived then the end result will suffer. Some may say that this single minded focus on basics robs one of artistic freedom. I think that's hogwash...in order to break the basic rules one must master them beforehand. Otherwise the art is accidental and bereft of intention and commitment.
For me perfection is in the execution of the basics - genius is in the concept and the two coupled together yield art worthy of devotion.
but first: make it ugly - make it fast.
D_
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Summer Quarter 2007 - Week 1 - No success in life...
I feel a renewed comittment to my MFA. Since the completion of Speedtrap my energy and interest has waned. Just the effects of 7 contiguous and intense quarters. Add to this my inability to do anything half way and burnout is a reality. So what is the difference now?
I don't know - but I feel the desire to produce a great story again. I am a year away from graduating and being done with this part of the journey...so I want to make the best of it.
It is in my nature, that when someone challenges my intention to do something it steels my resolve to achieve the goal ahead. Some sort of " You don't think I can do this? Do you? Well, I will show you I can!" attitude. I have always had this energy and it has been a great ally. But now I wonder at it's purpose and ask how it serves me...really. It definitely keeps me in judgement of others...which I don't like operative in my psyche.
Sometimes I think that we challenge others in our stated intentions because we are chagrined at the level of our own committment and work ethic...because we are afraid of being shown to be "less-than" we could be. Or our challenge may truly be coming from some sincere altruistic concern for the well being of the one who is burning the candle at both ends against the middle.
No matter what the explanation I do know this: to achieve anything there must be sacrifice. A sacrifice of time and attention. However some things, like home, family and sacred relationships must never be sacrificed - no success in life can compensate for the loss of any of those. Indeed it is partly because of them that we drive ourselves to achieve.
D_
I don't know - but I feel the desire to produce a great story again. I am a year away from graduating and being done with this part of the journey...so I want to make the best of it.
It is in my nature, that when someone challenges my intention to do something it steels my resolve to achieve the goal ahead. Some sort of " You don't think I can do this? Do you? Well, I will show you I can!" attitude. I have always had this energy and it has been a great ally. But now I wonder at it's purpose and ask how it serves me...really. It definitely keeps me in judgement of others...which I don't like operative in my psyche.
Sometimes I think that we challenge others in our stated intentions because we are chagrined at the level of our own committment and work ethic...because we are afraid of being shown to be "less-than" we could be. Or our challenge may truly be coming from some sincere altruistic concern for the well being of the one who is burning the candle at both ends against the middle.
No matter what the explanation I do know this: to achieve anything there must be sacrifice. A sacrifice of time and attention. However some things, like home, family and sacred relationships must never be sacrificed - no success in life can compensate for the loss of any of those. Indeed it is partly because of them that we drive ourselves to achieve.
D_
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
SPEEDTRAP - Martian Border Patrol
These are images from my animated short: SPEEDTRAP. Starring E.D. McAllistair, SPEEDTRAP follows his adventures as the best border patrol agent on Mars. The illegal aliens are a bit different there...especially the Venusians.
This was my MFA project last year - 33 weeks in the making. I did everything but the sound. I'll post a clip if I can figure out how.
D_
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Summer Quarter 2007 - So it begins...
3 weeks off...went by fast and I have enjoyed the break from school.
Work is challenging but also rewarding to see our efforts to clean up the production pipeline help us to achieve our delivery goals. Afterworld has been well recieved and I am already working on pre-production for the next series.
REQUIEM is moving into production. When I made "Speedtrap" I just dove in and started making models and I will do that for REQUIEM as well. But first - get organized! I have some docs to produce which will outline all of the assets that I will need to make - shot by shot. That will be my guide.
So it begins - Quarter number 8. Time has flown by. I need to enjoy this time so I will simply focus on my work and enjoy the process of the unfolding story.
D_
Work is challenging but also rewarding to see our efforts to clean up the production pipeline help us to achieve our delivery goals. Afterworld has been well recieved and I am already working on pre-production for the next series.
REQUIEM is moving into production. When I made "Speedtrap" I just dove in and started making models and I will do that for REQUIEM as well. But first - get organized! I have some docs to produce which will outline all of the assets that I will need to make - shot by shot. That will be my guide.
So it begins - Quarter number 8. Time has flown by. I need to enjoy this time so I will simply focus on my work and enjoy the process of the unfolding story.
D_
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Spring Quarter 2007 - Week 11: Done and Done-r
7 Quarters down - 4 to go.
It's Wednesday night and this quarter is a few days away from being OVER. I am ready for the break - 3 weeks off - from school. This quarter has been difficult for several reasons...but the level of difficulty is not the point. And I'm not sure what the point is - only that I kept on going even though I wasn't liking school very much the last 11 weeks. Is this burnout?
Feels like it.
I am taking 3 weeks off and will not look or think about school for that time. I hope this will give me a rest and freshen my eyes to "see" REQUIEM with a new POV. I'll need that to be able to tackle the production tasks ahead...not for the lazy, poorly organized or complacent.
Actually one thing I will do is to start talking to vets. I am also working on the REQUIEM story creating a pitch package to stand it up as an episodic.
A few words about the students I've encountered along the way. Some have been incredibly lazy. Many have been hard workers and great comrades in the process. And some are gone - quit, dropped out, whatever.
It's the story that keeps me engaged. It demands to be created. Like some beast that followed me home and now lives yowling in a dark room - waiting to be fed.
Let it starve for 3 weeks.
D_
It's Wednesday night and this quarter is a few days away from being OVER. I am ready for the break - 3 weeks off - from school. This quarter has been difficult for several reasons...but the level of difficulty is not the point. And I'm not sure what the point is - only that I kept on going even though I wasn't liking school very much the last 11 weeks. Is this burnout?
Feels like it.
I am taking 3 weeks off and will not look or think about school for that time. I hope this will give me a rest and freshen my eyes to "see" REQUIEM with a new POV. I'll need that to be able to tackle the production tasks ahead...not for the lazy, poorly organized or complacent.
Actually one thing I will do is to start talking to vets. I am also working on the REQUIEM story creating a pitch package to stand it up as an episodic.
A few words about the students I've encountered along the way. Some have been incredibly lazy. Many have been hard workers and great comrades in the process. And some are gone - quit, dropped out, whatever.
It's the story that keeps me engaged. It demands to be created. Like some beast that followed me home and now lives yowling in a dark room - waiting to be fed.
Let it starve for 3 weeks.
D_
Monday, June 11, 2007
Spring Quarter 2007 - Week 10: Really Lost
I lost a week somewhere.
Don't know where or how but I am officially a week off pace. The good news is that with this blog entry I am caught up for Week 10. And this is our last week...number 11. I think I am happy about that.
I could go into the craziness of school + work + selling a house + moving. But I won't. Suffice it to say - nothing at all.
I will therefore rant about crappy sloppy workers. Last spring about this time we contracted to have an attic fan installed. Cost was about $600 or so. Steep but I wasn't able to do it myself because of time.
Two guys came out. Eastern European - I won't say from where because I don't want them coming back to "be making the red revenge" on us for exposing their scam.
They said they couldn't find a way to tap into a power source so they wired the fan into one of the hall lights. My wife asked them to set the thermostat for 85* to make sure the attic cooled fast enough. They said: "Ees no prawb-lum, we do for you." They got their check and left.
My spidey sense tingled a bit. But I let it go. the fan worked only when we had the hall light on but I thought that I'd get around to fixing it someday.
Now it comes time to sell the house. We have it inspected. The inspector looks in the attic and takes some nice pictures of the Brothers Karamazov's work. They had clipped the line to the light and wirenutted their cable into it. No junction box - just exposed wires and wirenuts. BAD
I fixed that and moved into the depths of the attic...following the cable to the fan where the guys had once again simply wirenutted the bare wires outside the junction box for the thermostat control for the fan. No strain relief...bare wires = BAD
I open the box to install a cable strain relief. They hadn't even connected the thermostat - bypassed it altogether. I fixed it and on my way out of the attic stapled the cable up and out of the way and rewired it into a free circuit. All done, all clean...all in all about 4 1/2 hours of work.
I cleaned up the mess they left.
We paid $600.00 for a fan and some materials we could have bought at Home Depot for $70.00. Being scammed feels bad - part shame and anger mixed with more shame and anger. I really wish there was a way to get even...but revenge is not mine. Instant Karma will find them.
The good thing about the inspector is that he also found rotting posts holding up our patio cover. Now that I am digging them out and replacing them I'm really not sure what has been holding the wood cover up. Yep...that rotted.
It feels good to fix things up - to make things like they should be. I joke that when I get to the end of my honey-do list I will die. The good thing is that the list never gets shorter...no matter how much I do. This means I will live forever or at least long enough to see 2 scam artists from a company in Corona, CA (do I dare publish the name?) get some payback for cheating and lying to people.
Or not...leave that to higher powers.
D_
Don't know where or how but I am officially a week off pace. The good news is that with this blog entry I am caught up for Week 10. And this is our last week...number 11. I think I am happy about that.
I could go into the craziness of school + work + selling a house + moving. But I won't. Suffice it to say - nothing at all.
I will therefore rant about crappy sloppy workers. Last spring about this time we contracted to have an attic fan installed. Cost was about $600 or so. Steep but I wasn't able to do it myself because of time.
Two guys came out. Eastern European - I won't say from where because I don't want them coming back to "be making the red revenge" on us for exposing their scam.
They said they couldn't find a way to tap into a power source so they wired the fan into one of the hall lights. My wife asked them to set the thermostat for 85* to make sure the attic cooled fast enough. They said: "Ees no prawb-lum, we do for you." They got their check and left.
My spidey sense tingled a bit. But I let it go. the fan worked only when we had the hall light on but I thought that I'd get around to fixing it someday.
Now it comes time to sell the house. We have it inspected. The inspector looks in the attic and takes some nice pictures of the Brothers Karamazov's work. They had clipped the line to the light and wirenutted their cable into it. No junction box - just exposed wires and wirenuts. BAD
I fixed that and moved into the depths of the attic...following the cable to the fan where the guys had once again simply wirenutted the bare wires outside the junction box for the thermostat control for the fan. No strain relief...bare wires = BAD
I open the box to install a cable strain relief. They hadn't even connected the thermostat - bypassed it altogether. I fixed it and on my way out of the attic stapled the cable up and out of the way and rewired it into a free circuit. All done, all clean...all in all about 4 1/2 hours of work.
I cleaned up the mess they left.
We paid $600.00 for a fan and some materials we could have bought at Home Depot for $70.00. Being scammed feels bad - part shame and anger mixed with more shame and anger. I really wish there was a way to get even...but revenge is not mine. Instant Karma will find them.
The good thing about the inspector is that he also found rotting posts holding up our patio cover. Now that I am digging them out and replacing them I'm really not sure what has been holding the wood cover up. Yep...that rotted.
It feels good to fix things up - to make things like they should be. I joke that when I get to the end of my honey-do list I will die. The good thing is that the list never gets shorter...no matter how much I do. This means I will live forever or at least long enough to see 2 scam artists from a company in Corona, CA (do I dare publish the name?) get some payback for cheating and lying to people.
Or not...leave that to higher powers.
D_
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Spring Quarter 2007 - Week 9: Keeping Fresh
This quarter is almost over - Weeks 10 and 11 are ahead. It is always interesting to me to compare the list of what I wanted to accomplish with what I will finish by the end of term. The Cantonese have a saying: Ngahhn Fut - Tou jaak! Translation: Fat Eyes - Narrow Stomach. It's their version of "Your eyes are bigger than your stomach". A universal meme with application in our world.
I always reach higher than I can achieve. I am addicted to having more than one man can be resonably expected to do. I know where this comes from and I have done my own exploration of how it works and doesn't work in my life. However I have also discovered that I enjoy the challenge. I enjoy being stretched but only if it is my choice. This is the paradox - I am a hard worker but also enjoy my time of doing nothing.
Many students are proud of the fact that they work during the breaks between quarters. The one coming up is one of the long breaks - 2 weeks I believe. The short (1 week) breaks are hardest because after only 1 week I'm just getting in the groove of doing nothing and wham I have to start up again. It's funny to me that one of the "ice-breaker" questions routinely asked at the start of a quarter is "What did you accomplish on your project during the break?" It gives me great pride to answer - "Absolutely nothing - I didn't think about school!" And I think that this is the appropriate answer. The break is there for a purpose and the purpose is to recharge myself and refresh. Last year during break time - I played "Jade Empire" and "Strangers Wrath" all the way through during my evening hours. Loved it!
During the quarters I also routinely play dvd's as I do my work. Last year during the 3 quarters of production on Speed Trap - I watched all 9 seasons of X-files, Alien at least 6 times, same for the Matrix and Lord of the Rings Trilogies as well as the 30 other favorites in my library. These productions are masters classes in the art of visual story telling. I watch them over and over because I really enjoy them and they are inspirational and educational to me as an artist. This is something that I have learned in the past few years - the importance of studying the work I enjoy. I don't subscribe to studying works that other people think, or proclaim to be masterpieces. I study what I like. I study the directors that inspire me...the ones I want to emulate. I have not reached my potential as an artist or a storyteller...and these masters are my tutors.
D_
I always reach higher than I can achieve. I am addicted to having more than one man can be resonably expected to do. I know where this comes from and I have done my own exploration of how it works and doesn't work in my life. However I have also discovered that I enjoy the challenge. I enjoy being stretched but only if it is my choice. This is the paradox - I am a hard worker but also enjoy my time of doing nothing.
Many students are proud of the fact that they work during the breaks between quarters. The one coming up is one of the long breaks - 2 weeks I believe. The short (1 week) breaks are hardest because after only 1 week I'm just getting in the groove of doing nothing and wham I have to start up again. It's funny to me that one of the "ice-breaker" questions routinely asked at the start of a quarter is "What did you accomplish on your project during the break?" It gives me great pride to answer - "Absolutely nothing - I didn't think about school!" And I think that this is the appropriate answer. The break is there for a purpose and the purpose is to recharge myself and refresh. Last year during break time - I played "Jade Empire" and "Strangers Wrath" all the way through during my evening hours. Loved it!
During the quarters I also routinely play dvd's as I do my work. Last year during the 3 quarters of production on Speed Trap - I watched all 9 seasons of X-files, Alien at least 6 times, same for the Matrix and Lord of the Rings Trilogies as well as the 30 other favorites in my library. These productions are masters classes in the art of visual story telling. I watch them over and over because I really enjoy them and they are inspirational and educational to me as an artist. This is something that I have learned in the past few years - the importance of studying the work I enjoy. I don't subscribe to studying works that other people think, or proclaim to be masterpieces. I study what I like. I study the directors that inspire me...the ones I want to emulate. I have not reached my potential as an artist or a storyteller...and these masters are my tutors.
D_
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Spring Quarter 2007 - Week 8: Lost in a Lost World
I've spent a disproportionate amount of time reworking the story and animatic for REQUIEM. This week (Week 8) I finished the fifth version of the animatic after finding the story line and shots that I felt had been cut out of REQUIEM last year when I tried to make it fit into 2 minutes. It now weighs in at a whopping 6 minutes...which I will trim up as I move forward...maybe.
The plan for visual development includes a lot of matte painting for BG's and other elements. I will take as many shortcuts as possible without sacrificing quality or storytelling...but the length of the story will be challenging to complete in the next 3 quarters. The interesting thing about my current project work is that the show I'm art directing - afterworld - is very limited animation. Creating 6 minutes of limited animation CG is a 3 to 4 week process. I'm learning how much can be done with how little. That experience will certainly have import as I move into production on REQUIEM.
All in all I feel pretty good about the flow of the story, the shot selection and the emotional beats of the imagery.
Adding music and sound always brings goosebumps. I use music at this point to inspire me in the visual development. Although I can't use the music I currently have in the film if I intend to show it publicly - I am looking more for the emotional impact and synergy between the music and visuals at this time. Of course John Williams and James Horner are always exceptionally inspiring. The music from Munich, Saving Private Ryan, Braveheart, Glory and so on...all have elements that carry the soul of the story. Universal elements of bravery, loyalty and the grief of war.
This time in development I call the Lost World. It is an in between time - where nothing is real yet...only the promise of the future finished film. And I am lost in it right now. Not sure where I am...only that I am in the world between what I have seen in my mind's vision and what will someday be a piece of artwork that others can enjoy. I am lost in the lost world...and that's ok. I feel like some artists are afraid of this place and consequently never visit it or intentionally go there...it is too uncertain and fraught with fear for many. I feel fear as well...but the vision haunts me and I have to make this story. So I am willing to wander here for a while...because I know I'll find the path out sooner or later.
D_
The plan for visual development includes a lot of matte painting for BG's and other elements. I will take as many shortcuts as possible without sacrificing quality or storytelling...but the length of the story will be challenging to complete in the next 3 quarters. The interesting thing about my current project work is that the show I'm art directing - afterworld - is very limited animation. Creating 6 minutes of limited animation CG is a 3 to 4 week process. I'm learning how much can be done with how little. That experience will certainly have import as I move into production on REQUIEM.
All in all I feel pretty good about the flow of the story, the shot selection and the emotional beats of the imagery.
Adding music and sound always brings goosebumps. I use music at this point to inspire me in the visual development. Although I can't use the music I currently have in the film if I intend to show it publicly - I am looking more for the emotional impact and synergy between the music and visuals at this time. Of course John Williams and James Horner are always exceptionally inspiring. The music from Munich, Saving Private Ryan, Braveheart, Glory and so on...all have elements that carry the soul of the story. Universal elements of bravery, loyalty and the grief of war.
This time in development I call the Lost World. It is an in between time - where nothing is real yet...only the promise of the future finished film. And I am lost in it right now. Not sure where I am...only that I am in the world between what I have seen in my mind's vision and what will someday be a piece of artwork that others can enjoy. I am lost in the lost world...and that's ok. I feel like some artists are afraid of this place and consequently never visit it or intentionally go there...it is too uncertain and fraught with fear for many. I feel fear as well...but the vision haunts me and I have to make this story. So I am willing to wander here for a while...because I know I'll find the path out sooner or later.
D_
Friday, May 18, 2007
WEEK 7 ?
Is this week 6 or week 7? Don't know...it's all a blur. I have been reworking the storyboards and animatic for REQUIEM. In the process I have let go of some of the expectations of this quarter. If I can get a great animatic with "good cinema" as Dori says...then I will be satisfied. When I first boarded REQUIEM I gutted the story in order to make it fit into a two minute format. Now that it is no longer necessary to fit into two minutes I'm putting story elements back in that will help tell a better tale. I hope.
Short blog this week. My life is in a whirl and it feels like I lost a week somewhere.
D_
Short blog this week. My life is in a whirl and it feels like I lost a week somewhere.
D_
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
58,256
Is the new number of names engraved in the black granite panels of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. Three more were added this month. Approximately 1200 of the names memorialized are listed as missing - as in MIA's, POW's, and others.
58,256.
One of the new names added, Army Sgt. Richard M. Pruett, died in 2005 as a result of the lingering effects of wounds he received during the war.
In his case, as in others, soldiers die of their wounds. Some die immediately...some decades later. The deaths are physical as well as emotional and spiritual in some cases. A testament to the resilience of the human spirit, is that while he lived with the effects of his wounds and ultimately succumbed to them, he also lived a full life, raised a family, ran a business.
It was interesting to read the news articles related to the inclusion of the new names. The ones I read didn't include the new number - 58,256 - although they did recount the bureaucracy and politics of who is included in the rollcall of the dead. Our society loves to point out the failings of the government machine that we have created...without a solution suggested.
58,256.
There will be more added in the years to come...as this generation of warriors passes.
I hope we will remember all of them.
D_
58,256.
One of the new names added, Army Sgt. Richard M. Pruett, died in 2005 as a result of the lingering effects of wounds he received during the war.
In his case, as in others, soldiers die of their wounds. Some die immediately...some decades later. The deaths are physical as well as emotional and spiritual in some cases. A testament to the resilience of the human spirit, is that while he lived with the effects of his wounds and ultimately succumbed to them, he also lived a full life, raised a family, ran a business.
It was interesting to read the news articles related to the inclusion of the new names. The ones I read didn't include the new number - 58,256 - although they did recount the bureaucracy and politics of who is included in the rollcall of the dead. Our society loves to point out the failings of the government machine that we have created...without a solution suggested.
58,256.
There will be more added in the years to come...as this generation of warriors passes.
I hope we will remember all of them.
D_
Friday, April 27, 2007
Spring Quarter 2007 - Week 4
My sword is out today...
One of the challenging parts of working in an online program is the online communication. It's very easy to miscommunicate intent and meaning. Best to document everything and be crystal clear in communication.
Another challenge is that the course outlines are, at times, remedial and don't match up with the production schedule and needs that the project requires. This is easily remedied and I've found, with a few exceptions, that the facilitators understand this challenge and are flexible and supportive.
The best facilitators in the MIU online program have significant experience in production. They are masters of their craft and are able to offer powerful insights into process and artistic endeavor. The weakest facilitators, thankfully a minority, are inexperienced and have little or no production experience. They try very hard and deserve our kindness and support...but usually provide very little in the way of useful information or insight. Very much like academia in general I think.
My intention in earning a Masters degree is to qualify for a teaching position at the University level. The fact that I have near 30 years experience in 2 career fields, Industrial Design and Entertainment, yet lack that piece of paper (the terminal degree) has become, for me, a sadly humorous indictment of how teachers are valued or not valued in our countries education system. Even with the diploma I don't care about tenure, position or fame in the world of academia. I care about artistic endeavor, the soul of the artist, mentoring great students and living my mission as an artist.
This attitude will probably make me a threat to my future colleagues as I was in the past with tenured design professors who couldn't do the work they were "professing". Several at Cal State Long Beach were in that category. One in particular who taught product rendering was in the class of what I call "silver pencil artists". Those who think that coloring something with a silver prismacolor pencil is sufficient to render an image to look like chrome. Ooof. This is the "those who can't do - teach" problem. Fortunately my experience in the MIU program is that the facilitators, even the inexperienced ones, are actively engaged in work or have massive experience to inform their teaching. Some of them simply don't have the relevant experience required at times to facilitate the class or the students they are working with.
What I think: having a masters degree does not make you a good teacher or an excellent artist - pursuing a masters and attaining it simply affords the opportunity to explore the depth of artistic talent. What a student does with the opportunity is the core of the matter. As with all conflict - the outcome will hold some truth to be learned. My truth now is that I have 3 quarters (after this one) to make my thesis film. Those around me in the program can either help me, watch me do it, or get out of the way. No time for philosophizing. No patience for foolishness or laziness. No more smiley faces with winks or tongues sticking out. Hate that stuff. This is the thesis phase.
REQUIEM this week: I have been reading Bruce Block's book: The Visual Story. So far I find some pieces interesting but the content is sometimes a bit contrived. Although the concepts are not all that different from the universal principles of art and design...the practical application of the principles he describes in the book are worth embracing. The most interesting thing I find is that while I am reading the book many new and interesting ideas about the cinematography for REQUIEM are popping into my head...which I hope will make REQUIEM more powerful in it's visual story telling. The use of color to differentiate between the real world and the old man's memory world and visual progression for example.
that's all for this week.
D_
One of the challenging parts of working in an online program is the online communication. It's very easy to miscommunicate intent and meaning. Best to document everything and be crystal clear in communication.
Another challenge is that the course outlines are, at times, remedial and don't match up with the production schedule and needs that the project requires. This is easily remedied and I've found, with a few exceptions, that the facilitators understand this challenge and are flexible and supportive.
The best facilitators in the MIU online program have significant experience in production. They are masters of their craft and are able to offer powerful insights into process and artistic endeavor. The weakest facilitators, thankfully a minority, are inexperienced and have little or no production experience. They try very hard and deserve our kindness and support...but usually provide very little in the way of useful information or insight. Very much like academia in general I think.
My intention in earning a Masters degree is to qualify for a teaching position at the University level. The fact that I have near 30 years experience in 2 career fields, Industrial Design and Entertainment, yet lack that piece of paper (the terminal degree) has become, for me, a sadly humorous indictment of how teachers are valued or not valued in our countries education system. Even with the diploma I don't care about tenure, position or fame in the world of academia. I care about artistic endeavor, the soul of the artist, mentoring great students and living my mission as an artist.
This attitude will probably make me a threat to my future colleagues as I was in the past with tenured design professors who couldn't do the work they were "professing". Several at Cal State Long Beach were in that category. One in particular who taught product rendering was in the class of what I call "silver pencil artists". Those who think that coloring something with a silver prismacolor pencil is sufficient to render an image to look like chrome. Ooof. This is the "those who can't do - teach" problem. Fortunately my experience in the MIU program is that the facilitators, even the inexperienced ones, are actively engaged in work or have massive experience to inform their teaching. Some of them simply don't have the relevant experience required at times to facilitate the class or the students they are working with.
What I think: having a masters degree does not make you a good teacher or an excellent artist - pursuing a masters and attaining it simply affords the opportunity to explore the depth of artistic talent. What a student does with the opportunity is the core of the matter. As with all conflict - the outcome will hold some truth to be learned. My truth now is that I have 3 quarters (after this one) to make my thesis film. Those around me in the program can either help me, watch me do it, or get out of the way. No time for philosophizing. No patience for foolishness or laziness. No more smiley faces with winks or tongues sticking out. Hate that stuff. This is the thesis phase.
REQUIEM this week: I have been reading Bruce Block's book: The Visual Story. So far I find some pieces interesting but the content is sometimes a bit contrived. Although the concepts are not all that different from the universal principles of art and design...the practical application of the principles he describes in the book are worth embracing. The most interesting thing I find is that while I am reading the book many new and interesting ideas about the cinematography for REQUIEM are popping into my head...which I hope will make REQUIEM more powerful in it's visual story telling. The use of color to differentiate between the real world and the old man's memory world and visual progression for example.
that's all for this week.
D_
Monday, April 23, 2007
Command and Conquer 3 - Has Arrived
This is a concept illustration I did for this great new addition to the storied Command and Conquer franchise.
Production paintings like this one are one of my favorite parts of the production process...REQUIEM will be no exception.
D_
Spring Quarter 2007 - Week 3
A very long week...
Along with development on REQUIEM we are selling our house, buying a new one and I am in transition in my job as Senior Art Director at Electronic Arts Los Angeles studio.
I've been at EA for 3+ very intense and rewarding years. Going back into game development was an opportunity to grow and develop my abilities as an art director...and the experience has given me that in spades. From Medal of Honor, Command and Conquer 3 Pre-viz art direction and 2 years on an unannounced next gen title I have enjoyed the people, the culture and the process of making art at the highest level I've experienced in a game development studio. Much different from my work on direct to video features in practice...the same in principle.
The transition is focused on creating a structure that will enable me to work from home. Although it is not settled yet I am confident that the all things will work out for the best.
On the pre-production/development front for REQUIEM...I am a little behind. But I am also encouraged by my progress on the animatic. My efforts are focused on camera work, visual language of the shots. Or what my facilitator calls "making the cinema great". I will stay with this phase, holding here and iterating until it is perfect.
Much of the shot structure is still in my minds eye. The task is to get it clearly out into the animatic so that others can see and verify that the story I want to tell is indeed the one they are experiencing.
D_
Along with development on REQUIEM we are selling our house, buying a new one and I am in transition in my job as Senior Art Director at Electronic Arts Los Angeles studio.
I've been at EA for 3+ very intense and rewarding years. Going back into game development was an opportunity to grow and develop my abilities as an art director...and the experience has given me that in spades. From Medal of Honor, Command and Conquer 3 Pre-viz art direction and 2 years on an unannounced next gen title I have enjoyed the people, the culture and the process of making art at the highest level I've experienced in a game development studio. Much different from my work on direct to video features in practice...the same in principle.
The transition is focused on creating a structure that will enable me to work from home. Although it is not settled yet I am confident that the all things will work out for the best.
On the pre-production/development front for REQUIEM...I am a little behind. But I am also encouraged by my progress on the animatic. My efforts are focused on camera work, visual language of the shots. Or what my facilitator calls "making the cinema great". I will stay with this phase, holding here and iterating until it is perfect.
Much of the shot structure is still in my minds eye. The task is to get it clearly out into the animatic so that others can see and verify that the story I want to tell is indeed the one they are experiencing.
D_
Story Telling as a Form of Public Memorial
Public memorials and ritual healing...
Modern society rarely acknowledges the necessity and power of ritual healing in every day life. As a consequence, our culture suffers spiritually, emotionally and physically. War, for example, wounds us as a society in body, mind and spirit. Tens of thousands sacrificed their lives in
Maya Lin’s proposal for the VVM afforded her the rare opportunity to design a singular large scale public monument in our nation’s capitol city. There are many state and city memorials to the war; however Lin’s design is the only one to honor in one place, all the dead of that conflict. As a result the VVM has become a significant place of pilgrimage for those who come for healing, curiosity, honoring and remembrance.
Memorials, commemorative objects that remind us of people who died, or an event in which people died, are one of the few remaining art forms that may facilitate healing. However, one must visit these memorials to partake of the experience in full. Current media outlets such as the internet, television and film have access to a wider audience than location specific physical memorials. Using these media as a way to remember the past expands the opportunity for cultural healing by creating memorials through storytelling.
George Santayana said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” I believe that our collective memory of the past, including our memory of war, requires some form or symbol to facilitate our remembrance. Public memorials serve to help us to avoid historic repetition and heal the social and cultural wounds of war by keeping the memory of the dead in our consciousness. In my thesis and MFA project, I will explore and portray the VVM as a place of pilgrimage, a temple to the fallen, and a symbol of all that is right and wrong in the modern world.
As an artist I think about my responsibility to use my abilities and vision to create art and to also serve the world and the people around me. I ask myself, “What can I do? What art can I create that would serve as a form of memorial serving the same good end as the VVM?”
D_
Monday, April 9, 2007
REQUIEM Production Art
Another image exploring atmosphere, time of day and the jungles of Vietnam reflected into the walls surface.
D_